Server Not Servant

Customer Hall of Fame

Regular or Irregular?

Book Chapter: Customer Hall of Fame

Posted: 07/27/2010

Restaurant workers are a unique breed. Cagey veterans are durable, resourceful and irreverently funny. They’ve seen and heard it all. They put their game face on and deliver great hospitality shift after shift, double after double, week after week. Despite their resiliency, it’s hard to always be the life of the party when they’re running on fumes, the laundry and errands are piling up at home, and funds are tight. The daily grind takes its toll on even the most seasoned servers.

A good friend of mine was working a double last week on an outside patio during the heat wave in Boston. When I touched her back and kissed her cheek to say hello she was sweating so much that she was clammy. The air conditioning was so ineffective at the restaurant that she spent her forty-five minute break in her car with the AC cranking. Despite her predicament, she was still joking and smiling—a true professional.

I’ve been working with and talking to restaurant workers for more than twenty eight years, and one thing that keeps them going, along with their sense of humor, is their good, repeat customers. Regulars can be lifesavers, or be the bane of a server’s existence.

Frequent flyer credits don’t guarantee you good regular status in a restaurant. Many repeat customers are loathed by the staff. The very sight of them evokes a visceral reaction nearly impossible to disguise. I’ve heard several of these gems bragging to their friends about what a “regular” they were, while the staff ridicules and curses them. A lot of bad regulars are clueless.

So what separates a good regular from an irregular?

I used to frequent a Boston restaurant so often that the GM put my name into the Micros computer system under “Maintenance” as a joke, and told me that he had punched the time clock for me if I was running late. (Hopefully I wasn’t high maintenance.) An extremely eccentric woman, with darting eyes, also frequented the same restaurant. She always sat alone with her book at the bar and rarely said a word to anyone. Without fail, if you sat close to her, she would lift her head from her book, stare into your eyes, and lean in to listen to your conversation, never looking away—very awkward and creepy. Naturally the staff dubbed her, “The Listener.” (All restaurant regulars have nicknames.)

At another restaurant I frequented, a very loquacious, clinging regular was notorious for sidling up to customers at the bar, befriending them, convincing them to let her try a bite of their food, and then eating a good portion of it. She was a mooch, and I was often a victim until I caught on to her ruse. I distinctly remember her saying, I love this place. Everyone shares their food. I bit my tongue, but wanted to reply, No they don’t, you steal it!

Kat, a reader and commenter on this blog writes, Regulars, the kind that make you smile when you see them sit in your section, who remember your name, just like you remember theirs, who take an interest in you as a human being, not just the purveyor of sustenance, are absolutely the best. The ones that have cared enough to ask for my name (I don’t generally volunteer it) and to remember it, who notice that I love my job and genuinely appreciate the way in which I do it, those people are the reason I go to work. These stupendous customers are probably about 20% of the total, just like the truly difficult ones, but they make it so much easier to deal with the other 80% and are always a great reminder of the reasons I’m in the service industry.

Serving fellow human beings food and drink is an intimate and personal experience. Great hospitality is a two-way street. If you frequent a restaurant, it is incumbent upon you to know if you’re a good regular or just a regular pain in the ass. Let’s open the discussion up to restaurant industry experts, and every other service industry worker to clarify the difference.

Please describe your favorite regulars. What do they say and do that makes them enjoyable to serve? What sets them apart from other guests?

Please describe the irregulars that make you cringe when they walk through the door. What makes them so difficult? Do they try to use their frequent flyer status to curry favor? Do you think they have any clue that they’re a royal pain in the ass? How do you and your co-workers deal with them? What are their nicknames and why? What would you tell them if you could?

Please forward this post to anyone who might want to join the conversation. Thank you.

Posted in Customer Hall of Fame, Customer Hall of Shame | 11 Comments »

Best Customers Ever

Book Chapter: Customer Hall of Fame

Posted: 06/30/2010

As promised, I will occasionally post a question from the questionnaire I’m using to gather research and stories for my book. If you’re interested in completing the full questionnaire, please click on the Submit Your Stories tab at the top of the post.

Unfortunately the stinging comments made by the 20% of customers who are impolite, disrespectful or downright rude, linger with us long after the customers leave. I’ve received emails from service industry workers sharing war stories from decades ago in vivid detail. Personally, I still remember the condescending comments made by customers when I was bartending like, Good thing you went to college, implying that I wasted my time pursuing a degree.

 What entitles anyone to make judgmental comments like that? Perhaps that’s one of the reasons I’m a big fan of the underdog.

As my good friend, Greg Reeves often says, It’s really not that hard to do the right thing. How true. Too bad not everyone got the memo…

Shifting gears, let’s turn our attention to the positive experiences we’ve all had with great customers. Exceptionally gracious people can also make a lasting impression.

Question #12: What adjectives would you use to describe the best, most refreshing customers you’ve had over the years?

In addition to the adjectives, please include a brief summary of some of the best experiences you’ve ever had with customers, and what made them memorable. Enjoy the July 4th weekend. Thank you-PM

Posted in Customer Hall of Fame | 14 Comments »

Customer Service Workers; Would You Sacrifice Money For Manners?

Book Chapter: Customer Hall of Fame

Posted: 03/19/2010

Ok, I realize this is hypothetical and idealistic because unfortunately, we’re never going to change them all…

Nonetheless, I’m curious to know where you stand.

As I’ve been receiving emails and questionnaire responses from readers, I started thinking, Would customer service industry workers be willing to give up some of their compensation if they were guaranteed that all of their customers were good people? Is respect more important than money?

Here’s a little context:

The results from almost 200 current or former customer service industry workers who completed my questionnaire, indicate that 19% of customers are either impolite, disrespectful, or downright rude. Two follow-up questions ask workers to use adjectives to describe their best customers over the years, as well as the types of customers that they prefer. The responses are still coming in, but a quick poll of the top 5 results looks like this (I grouped  similar adjectives together.);

#1- Aware/Empathetic/Gracious.

#2- Respectful/Polite/Courteous.

#3- Friendly/Fun.

#4- Real/Genuine/Easy-going.

#5- Patient.

(I omitted generous, big tippers, etc., and interestingly, the adjectives about money didn’t even make the top ten.)

So, for everyone who interacts with customers for a living, would you trade money for manners if you were guaranteed that all of your customers would be empathetic, respectful, cool, fun, easy-going, patient, or any combo of 1-5 above? Would you forgo a portion of your tips or compensation if you were guaranteed that you wouldn’t have any rude or abusive customers? If yes, what’s the trade-off? How much of a cut in pay would you take for the peace of mind knowing that every customer you come in contact with was going to treat you with mutual respect, the way that they would want to be treated? Run with the idea any way you would like, and please include your industry and job description. Thank you very much for participating.

PS-This blog is currently leading in the balloting for Boston Magazine’s Readers’ Choice Awards. I’m grateful to everyone who has voted. If the spirit moves you, please click on Boston Magazine and place your vote. Be sure to click on the box at the bottom of the ballot if you don’t want to receive communications from Metro Corp. or Boston Magazine. You don’t have to vote for all categories, and you can vote as often as you’d like until May. Thank you for your consideration.

Posted in Customer Hall of Fame | 11 Comments »

Customer Hall of Fame

Book Chapter: Customer Hall of Fame

Posted: 12/13/2009

Before I start a new post, I’d like to thank all of you who responded to the Q&A that ran in the Boston Globe Magazine last Sunday featuring my blog. Your emails, voicemails, texts and comments on my blog reinforce why we need to carry forward the message  and mission of this blog and book. I am grateful for your feedback and participation.

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‘Tis the season… It’s time to hear about the good. While gathering research and stories for my book, I realized that in order to provide a good balance, I had to shine the spotlight on the good customers and people, as well as the bad. If we’re going to expose all of the impossible people, we also need to acknowledge and celebrate the people who just ’act right’, as well as those who go above and beyond and restore your faith in humanity.

I was amazed that the domain names ‘customer hall of shame’ and ‘customer hall of fame’ were still available when I purchased them a few years ago. I was equally surprised that ’server hall of fame’ and ’server hall of shame’ were available when I bought them last week. All of these domains will be used to gather your stories, and to highlight the good and bad on both sides of the service equation.

Question #14 on the questionnaire for the book reads as follows: Please share your stories from the best customers you have ever had. Nominees for the “Customer Hall of Fame.” (Please email me if you would like a copy of the questionnaire that I am using to gather research.) Here are a few samples:

Submitted by Aaron Adler, owner of Appraisals Unlimited, the largest residential appraisal company in New England, located  in Needham, MA. (I’ve enjoyed a great professional relationship with Aaron and his team the last 12 years that I have been in the residential mortgage business.);

The owner of a local mortgage company that I do business with hosted a charity golf event several years ago at a country club on the south shore of Boston. After several hours of playing 18 holes of golf, many of the people were feeling loose from drinking while golfing. As we all know after imbibing alcohol, some people get nasty, some people get sloppy, and some people remain true to themselves. While the host was speaking to the raucous group and thanking them for their charitable contributions, a busboy walking right in front of him dropped a tray full of dirty dishes and glasses that made a mess and a lot of noise as they crashed to the floor. Rather than make fun of the busboy and get a laugh from the inebriated crowd, the speaker stopped and spent at least five minutes helping the busboy clean things up. He then went back to the podium and continued on without a mention of what just happened. I was very impressed to say the least that a CEO took the time to help the busboy and make no big deal about it.

Submitted by Ginger D., 24-years of service industry experience:

I was an account manager at an electronics company when my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I did my best to not allow it to affect my “work face” but one day, one of my  favorite clients gently inquired. I told her in very brief terms what was going on, but assured her that it wouldn’t affect the quality of service they would receive. She assured me that they weren’t concerned about my performance, just my well-being. About a week later, I received a small box from her. In it was a card for my mom, and a rental card for 20 movies from our local movie store. I had mentioned that I was renting armloads of movies for my mom to watch during her bedrest.

Please share your stories and nominees for the Customer Hall of Fame.

Posted in Customer Hall of Fame | 2 Comments »