Customer Hall of Shame
Book Chapter: Customer Hall of Shame
My first reaction was, “Another entitled, mysogynistic jerk.” And then I became wary of the credibility of the server’s story. So I reached out to the banker and the bartender for comment, and both replied. But let’s start with the events from over the weekend.
A post on the Kitchenette blog yesterday titled: Server Posts Epic Facebook Response After Customer Harasses Her, tells the story of a male customer allegedly sexually harassing a female server:
From Kitchenette: Every server who’s seen the abuse heaped on themselves and their co-workers has wanted to see a horrible customer get their just comeuppance through a public shaming. Today, our prayers have been answered, because someone did just that.
Laura Ramadei, a server and bartender in New York City, was at the end of her rope after five years’ experience in the industry and more than her share of terrible customers. So when a New York finance bro named Brian Lederman allegedly sexually harassed her, it was the last straw:
You came into the restaurant where I work and ordered a Stoli on the rocks. When I asked you and your companion if you’d be eating, or needing anything else from me, you put your hand – ever so gently – ON MY ASS and asked if you could take me “to go”.
The facebook post included a copy of the receipt including Brian’s name, a bill for $15.24, a scribble in the tip line, and a printed total of $17.24, indicating a $2 tip. If you’re not on facebook, I’ve included the full text of Laura’s post in the first comment below.
As the story started making the rounds, I reached out to Brian via Facebook DM:
Me (9/16 4:09pm): I’m publishing a piece on this. Would you like to share your side of the story? Thank you-PM (I included excerpts from Laura’s Facebook post and a link to the Kitchenette post.)
(All of Brian’s comments were cut and pasted verbatim, without edits. Perhaps they were voice-generated?)
Brian (9/16 4:11pm): You want to publish a piece of fabricated lies bet guest you will also be on my attorneys list to sue for defamation you like to publish hearsay ! You know this girl ? Does anyone know her ? It’s a shame people believe what they hear not knowing the facts
Me (9/16 4:12pm): What are the facts?
Brian (9/16 4:18pm): My story ??? There is no story I went into a bar ordered a drink I was a bout to make a joke and stopped in the middle ” the girls says what can I get you – the joke if told 1000 times is how about you to go with nothing on it ” laughing kidding in the most joking manner not insulting nothing even remotely close the fact is I didn’t even finish the joke .. And I certainly never laid a finger let alone a hand on this girl she is simply fabricating a story to gain attention and get another Jon if I did anything inappropriate why didn’t she say anything to me I signed my check with my friend and left there is not one part of her story which is factual I never said anything derogatory and sexually harassing in any shape or manner never nog in anyway it’s a complete lie and I have a friend who was with me who witness everything and nothing because nothing but two drinks were serves we were not even drunk I remember EVERY think that occurred which as normal stop in a bar for a drink paid and left where this came from is shocking to me and my friend in fact my cc is missing since I left there and I believe she stole it and probably got does not quit . The girl is a psyco that’s the facts I’ve never had anything like this happen to me before so that’s a sick story to post especially when no one knows the facts except myself and my friend
Me (9/16 4:20pm): I’m waiting for statements from you and the restaurant you interacted with her at before publishing my piece. Obviously I want to get the facts straight. That’s why I reached out.
Brian (9/16 4:23pm): If anything happened why didn’t someone say anything to me not the girl not the Resteraunt no one I got a call from someone about this is all a complete shock to me . The fact is nothing what so ever happened if I was in any way rude I would have appologized I wasn’t I’m not that type of person I’m a married man 2 children this is like a nightmare what have I done but have a drink pay and leave What’s could possibly have happened why didn’t anyone in the Resteraunt say anything why suddenly 2 days later all this garbage written its 1000% untrue that’s the faxts
Me (9/16 4:26pm): If you want to prepare a statement, I’ll include it in the story. Thank you.
Brian (9/19 12:01 am): My statement is simple . This fabricates story is a clearly premeditated plan to leave a job and attempt to get sympathy from the public by slander and defamation of my character . The girl is clearly intelligent and calculated how is it possible is I sexually harnessed her she didn’t say anything to me or her manager ? Why ? Because it NEVER happened except in her mind . I never touched her or made any advance in any inappropriate sexual manner and this girl will be deal with my attorneys and paying for her lies this I can garantee . I’ve never heard of anything like this in my life ! It’s just a shock to me and I’m honestly speechless how she can create such a story maybe it was the tip …
Brian: (9/17 12:31 am) One more thing to take into consideration about what has been written Look how much time she spent taking about herself rather then the supposed sexual Harassment she is self promoting herself rather then making such a huge deal about the fabricated story and why she quit her job . If anything like that ever happened in a bar or public place the manager would have known imm and came to the table to say some thing or she would have said something she was super nice when she handed me the bill and never insinuated any sort or inappropriate actions on my part so when did it all occur after I left ? I guess on her mind ! That’s all I can say this girl is self promoting and getting to gain sympathy to get another job or try to defame and slander me to Gain attention for herself
Me (9/17 8:28am) : Got it. I’ll be gathering facts all day and posting tonight. Why only a $2 (13.12%) tip on $15.24?
Brian (9/17 3:32pm): I didn’t pay attention I was in rush that simple . I thought I wrote 3 and now find out 2
After reaching out to Laura via Facebook DM, we exchanged emails:
Me: (9/16 4:49 pm): Hey Laura. I write a blog advocating for people in the service industry. I’m working on a blog post about the alleged incident with Brian Lederman. I have a few questions.
#1- Would the MOD working when Brian came in be willing to substantiate your story and answer some questions?
#2- Did you tell the manager that Brian put his hand on your ass?
#3- What action did the manager take? Did they confront Brian?
#4- What do you say to the people who are speculating that this is a ruse? (Your “commercial” at the end of your facebook post has raised more than a few eyebrows.)
Laura (9/16 9:48pm): I have answered your questions so as to clear up confusion. I am hoping the noise my post has created will die down soon, as things seem to have gotten out of hand, and attacks are being made that I have strongly advocated against. I hope that in reaching out to me you like wise seek to promote awareness and education, rather than malice and accusation.
[Laura's answers to #'s 1-4 above.]
#1- He was not a witness to the incident, and therefore would only be able to provide further conjecture.
#2- Yes, almost immediately after the incident, the customer asked for the check. I told my manager what happened as soon as the customer left and he took down a description of the man and his name.
#3- After conferring with the general manager, the decision was made not to allow this customer back into the establishment. He was not contacted or approached by my managers, and I never requested they do so. The organization has been very supportive of me as an employee.
#4- I posted the story to spread awareness, and to inspire friends to treat each other and their servers with kindness and consideration. The post script was a genuine call for help and advice from friends, who face similar challenges pursuing careers in the arts while making ends meet. By no means was it meant as a “commercial”. I can’t imagine that any significant career opportunities would arise out of this incident. Only support and input from friends and colleagues, which I’ve been grateful to receive.
I also sent Laura a facebook DM on 9/16 at 4:50pm stating that Brian denied touching her. In a separate email sent by Laura on 9/16 at 10:07pm, Laura responded:
Oh and to address your follow up facebook message – he did touch me. It wasn’t a “grab” or a violent act the way certain repostings or stranger shares have implied. It was subtle but clear contact. To me it felt like three fingers gently resting on my left buttcheek. I hope you understand how horribly ridiculous and uncomfortable it is to talk about the details of this, but in the interest of clarity I hope my candor is helpful. I know that he has denied the event to other publications, and to my managers, but I stand by what happened, as do my employers.
If the quotes in today’s NY Post are accurate, Brian Lederman did nothing to endear himself to anyone defending him.
Excerpts from The NY Post:
“I’ve grabbed plenty of girls’ asses in my life,” Brian H. Lederman boasted to The Post. “But I’ve never grabbed hers.”
The married moneyman went on the defensive Tuesday after server Laura Ramadei made a tell-all Facebook post saying he ogled her like a piece of meat as he fondled her derriere at Lucky Strike on Grand Street.
Lederman, a 57-year-old managing director at Swiss Performance Management & Fiduciary, angrily denied any physical contact — and threatened to sue Ramadei for defamation.
“I clearly remember making a joke when the girl said, ‘What would you like,’ ” he said. “I kiddingly said, ‘I would like you to go with nothing on it.’ ”
He said he was furious that she claimed he did more than spew sleaze.
“That f–king c–t, for her to do something like that is pretty ridiculous,” he told The Post.
He then threatened to make sure she doesn’t serve lunch in this town again.
“I will make sure she doesn’t get another job in New York City. I know everybody,” he raged. “The bar owners, the club owners — that’s a terrible thing to write about somebody.”
Ah, another rendition of the old, “Do you know who I am?” rears its ugly head. Because of his reaction alone, a few hundred thousand more people know him…
If a 57-year-old guy doesn’t know that it’s not funny to make a sexist comment to a stranger, there’s a good chance he’ll never learn. The old, “I was just kidding” excuse just doesn’t fly, especially in a case like this. It’s bad enough when servers hear the same ‘jokes’ thousands of times (“Hated it” from a customer pointing to a licked-clean plate), but personal, sexist, abusive “kidding” is unacceptable, cover-your-ass backpedaling.
Despite the hint of opportunism, I’m siding with Laura.
Book Chapter: Customer Hall of Shame
Ok, I’ll take the bait. The pizza at Lincoln Tavern in South Boston is very good. I know because I enjoyed a few free slices that the good folks at Lincoln donated to volunteers when they hosted a tremendous charity event a few months ago.
“was SO disappointed last night when i got a pizza to take home and it was in an ugly generic box.. what?!?! what happened to the lincoln pizza boxes? everyone loves walking home with a lincoln pizza box and everyone knows where you got it from. hm”
“Tried ribelle tonight and was not impressed. Loud, weird paper over windows. Not a larger enough menu selection for vegetarian or kosher diners. I won’t be going back.”
The “weird paper” the anonymous ‘friend’ or ‘family’ member was referring to, was brown paper taped over the windows because the restaurant was closed to the public!!
I sent Yelper Nikki the following direct message:
“Do you really think it’s fair to give a restaurant 1 star because they ran out of pizza boxes? Yelp drives people to or away from restaurants, and obviously 1-star ratings can have a detrimental impact on restaurants. If you owned or worked at Lincoln Tavern, would you be amused by the 1-star review?” (I’ll update if they respond.)
Maybe it’s a ruse, or maybe Nikki is just looking for a little attention, but restaurant workers have a right to be frustrated and angry when anonymous dimwits fuck with their livelihood. It’s not funny.
“Some chefs borrow money, they do everything they can, they kill themselves, it’s the culmination of a career working 100 hours a week or more. They finally open a place and within eight minutes of opening, some asshole has posted on Yelp, ‘Worst meal ever.’ You can understand why they go insane…”
Yes, we can…
Book Chapter: Customer Hall of Shame
For the sake of humanity, some adult humans should not be allowed out, period. If they were allowed out, on a limited basis, their “house arrest” should preclude them from interacting with anyone who serves the public. They just don’t get it.
I received these pictures from an employee at a restaurant that is widely regarded as one of the best restaurants in America. (It’s in the Southeast.) I’ve confirmed the employment of the sender, and the restaurant, but agreed not to disclose the identity of either. The pictures represent both sides of a card handed to a server by a guest last weekend, during a very busy dinner service. Side 1:
It’s one thing to ask for a few modifications, but really? If you want to pick and choose exactly what you want, go to a buffet, or go to a supermarket. Side 2:
No, this was not a joke. This diner actually sent a note to the kitchen requesting that they default to his dietary philosophies!! I can hear the kitchen crew now, “Hold everything. We’re going Forks Over Knives for table 32…”
The restaurant took the hospitality high road, and served the persnickety patron a vegan entre of local produce. (I’ve requested information from the server about the interaction with the guest and his dining companions, and how they tipped.) I do know that the demanding douchebag did not thank the chefs in the open kitchen for accommodating him.
The perky, “Thanks for working with me!” does not offset how obnoxious this note is. The entitlement epidemic is alive and well. I’m surprised the diner didn’t specify ideal lighting luminosity, room temperature & humidity, and hand the maître d’ a playlist…
Love to hear your reaction, and your stories in the comments.
Book Chapter: Customer Hall of Shame
Thank you to everyone who has sent emails, DM’s, texts, and content for this blog and book project, especially for the posts contributed to the Server Not Servant Facebook Group. The idea for today’s post was submitted via a TripAdvisor UK link to the SNS Facebook Group by Drew Starr, contributing editor at EaterBoston.
The following review was submitted to TripAdvisor UK by anonymous member, ‘Sinsand’, about The Bladebone Inn, located in Bucklebury Village in West Berkshire, England. In general, I believe that restaurateurs should exercise restraint, and only respond to amateur ‘reviewers’ on a limited basis. The response by chef/owner, Kiren Puri, is warranted, and an instant classic. Well done, Kiren.
One of the worst evenings out in a while. Been there now and again and visited with my folks expecting an enjoyable night out. Two of us ordered the beef rib with marrow bone/smoked mash etc. All fine except the rib was so tough that it was practically inedible – I left half of mine (I even asked for steak knives which didn’t help!).
The very nice waitress asked where we were enjoying our meal and we fed back that the rib was pretty awful to the extent that I wasn’t going to finish my meal. She said that she would talk to the chef. We didn’t hear back. When the bill was presented there was no acknowledgement of our feedback. We asked what were the chef comments and at this point what turned out to be a very incompetent and rude waiter arrived. He informed us that he had tasted the meat as had the chef and that the meat was tender as always.
I fed back that all three of us would beg to differ to which he said that had we informed them earlier that they would have offered an alternative. This of course is what we did and they didn’t do anything and he then asked what I wanted to resolve the developing argument. I asked for some gesture. At this point he seemed to become very concerned about the scene developing so just grabbed the bill and said that we needn’t pay and disappeared off. We chose to pay for the third meal and drinks and left quite amazed at the immature customer service and bad food.
We like to support local pubs and restaurants and are real ‘foodies’. Some constructive advice for the management of the Blade Bone Inn:
Train your staff to put the customer first and not make mountains out of mole hills Only ask how the food is if you are going to take action and feedback – otherwise don’t bother
Empathise with your customer who after all probably isn’t trying to cheat you – don’t argue With this in mind, a small gesture, bit off the bill, drink, free dessert etc. goes a long, long way.
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
[Note from Patrick Maguire, SNS; If you are a self-styled 'foodie', you are an asshole.]
I never respond to reviews on here, good or bad. I am a believer that these sites offer a communal platform to share experiences on, that enable us all to eat, drink and sleep better, and that can’t be a bad thing. Alas, we can never please 100% of people 100% of the time, no matter how hard we try, but we never stop trying.
Unfortunately, there are a small minority of people that use these sites for ulterior and more sinister motives and these people, like yourself, are a disease upon our wonderful industry, and it must be addressed. Therefore, I have chosen to respond for the first time in two years to your review as I do not think it is a fair reflection of the evening in question.
I have tried to address each of your points as fairly as I have seen it;
All plates that return to the kitchen unfinished are kept for either my or the head chef’s inspection. We both inspected what was left on your two plates (one plate was completely clear, whilst the other had the most miniscule piece of meat left.), the meat was tender and unctuous. We served six other portions that evening to a universal response of ‘excellent’, although I am open to the suggestion that food fairies may have bought another one into the building and replaced the one on your plate as a personal slight against you. Naughty fairies!
You falsely claim that half was left. Now I think someone has a little problem here telling the truth. I saw the plate, and our cctv shows that next to nothing was left, I would be more than happy to show you these images if your memory is hazy. Your parents seemed like lovely people, I’ll bet that they taught you better than that.
Your comments were fed back to the chef, and on his and my inspection, we agreed that the line we would use is “We have fed your comments back to the chef, and the chef thanks you for your feedback.”. Unfortunately this was not enough for you. We did not feel based on our inspection of the meal that the comments were fair, and decided against going deeper into the matter as I felt that a problem was out to be caused by yourself, and I was not prepared to indulge you in that.
The rude and incompetent waiter you speak off was me. I am the chef/patron and the business owner. I know, even I struggle to believe that sometimes! I have trained in the finest restaurants in the world, numerous three Michelin star etc, and I feel that I can recognise when there is a problem with the food by now. I did not feel that there was any issue whatsoever with your meal, this is my job and my chosen career. My regular customers know that I am very quick to ‘comp’ food if the food service or quality does not come up to my high expectations.
You are absolutely correct in that I was concerned about a scene escalating. My restaurant was fully booked, and I had eleven other tables enjoying their evening, and an atmosphere I wanted to protect. I made the decision to remove your bill, refuse your money, rather than risk one cancerous person ruin the atmosphere for everyone else, you were not the only customer. This is a decision I stand by.
You state that you left money to cover one meal and drinks. It did not cover that. The money was dispatched into the Air Ambulance charity box. If that is the value that you put on a meal in my restaurant, I would rather not have it.
You claim to be foodies. I have never met a self professed foodie start his meal with a bowl of chips.
I love looking after my customers and serving the food that we serve. After a while in this industry, you start to learn those who are out to look for problems and try and get a free ride. Unfortunately, we noticed straight away with yourself, and I asked the front of house team to take extra extra care with your table. I made sure that I took the order myself, even feeding back cooking times so that you would be aware that one of the dishes took a little longer to cook (they call this customer service), but unfortunately we were never going to win this one. As you have been so kind to give me some advice about how to run this business, I would like to give you some feedback on how to be a customer.
1. Tell the truth. Lying and distorting the truth beyond recognition is not cool, big nor clever even if it is a tool towards achieving your end result.
2. Having read the pseudo-criticisms on your other reviews, there are a couple of consistencies. I.e., You are after freebies and money off. If you are going to constantly do this, have the decency and ask for a reduction on the bill at booking or free courses. I’m sure all restaurants would love to take your reservation at this point, or at least recommend somewhere that would appreciate your custom. Margins are tight and the industry is harder than ever to make a success from. It is not fair to demand things (check your own reviews and you will find the same theme).
3. Remember that you are (thankfully) not a food critic. If you were, I would not be a chef. To quote Voltaire ‘I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend unto the death your right to say it.’ However, Voltaire also said, ‘one always speaks badly when one has nothing to say’. If you one day learn how to complain correctly and accept that we will listen to your feedback where appropriate. But, you will never tell me nor my staff to give you something for nothing when it is unwarranted.
4. Stick to venues that will satiate you. I can recommend an endless list of chains that have endless capital and will not mind gifting you the freebies and discounts that you so obviously crave.
5. Have a little respect for your fellow guests. Your parents appeared to be as embarrassed to be with you as I was to have you in my restaurant. That’s not fair on anyone.
Kiren and The Bladebone Team
Book Chapter: Customer Hall of Shame
I was very fortunate to be invited to “Friends & Family” night at Ribelle, a new restaurant in Brookline, MA, last night. Anyone who is lucky enough to have been included in one of these evenings, knows that they’re a real treat. They can be rough, raw, and akin to watching actors rehearse for a big show. Mistakes are made, and you’re in on the action. You really appreciate showtime when you’ve been behind the curtain.
However, there are some responsibilities that go along with the sneak peek; You ask permission about what’s ok to post on social media, and you don’t post a critical ‘review’ of a restaurant that is a work in progress — especially after eating and drinking for free!!!
Tried ribelle tonight and was not impressed. Loud, weird paper over windows. Not a larger enough menu selection for vegetarian or kosher diners. I won’t be going back.
The “weird paper” the anonymous ‘friend’ or ‘family’ member is referring to, was brown paper taped over the windows because the restaurant was closed to the public!!
Seriously, where do these people come from??????
Here is my response on EaterBoston:
That anonymous comment, including, “weird paper over the windows,” is one of the most ridiculous fucking things I’ve seen in a long time. File under, “You can’t make this shit up.” People like this moron are the reason I started my blog/book project.
Dear Moron- You attended a FREE “Friends & Family” night at one of the most highly-anticipated, Boston-area restaurant openings in recent memory. It is an honor to be included on the guest list of a FREE Friends & Family night. TRUSTED guests (and their guests) are expected to come in with an open mind, a keen sense of their surroundings, and an awareness that these nights are a dry run for The real McCoy, when the restaurant opens its doors to the (critical) public.
In exchange for attending the FREE dinner, guests are expected to give candid, constructive, confidential feedback via email, or a comment card that is furnished by the restaurant. (Yes, Ribelle provided them.) Armed with that info, the restaurant team continues to brainstorm, tweak, train, and “work out all the kinks,” before going “live”.
Your comments about the menu choices are comical, and make it crystal clear that you are clueless about what ribelle is doing. Do you own a computer or ‘smart’ phone? Are you really that dumb?
I was at the dinner last night, and loved the limited # of choices. There are several items (including the octopus) that I want to go back and try. I also loved the food, drinks, hospitality and the room, despite the fact that the chairs were rented and the room is still being decorated. (Still building, working, tweaking, get it, Dummy??)
I hope my comments help, in case you are ever invited to another FREE Friends & Family dinner (as a +1, or an actual “friend”). Oh, and one more thing; Over-tipping is part of the social contract when attending these dinners where your friends invite you into their house to eat and drink, all night, for FREE.
PS- Full disclosure: I was invited to the dinner last night because I am friends with the Ribelle family………..
PPS- If you are a blood “Family” member of anyone at Ribelle, I’m sure they’ll be thrilled at your vow not to return to the restaurant, or to ANY family functions for that matter. End of rant to anonymous moron.