Server Not Servant

Observe / Analyze

Water Experiment

Book Chapter: Observe / Analyze

Posted: 02/5/2010

I was reading the paper and having breakfast at the counter at one of my favorite greasy spoons this week, when a guy came in and sat a few stools away. I’m always doing research for my book, so naturally I listened in. The waitress approached him with her typical, Coffee, Hon? He replied, Yes, half regular and half decafe. Don’t refill it when I’m half done; you’ll mess up the balance of the cream and sugar.

As is often the case, I started to wonder if people realize how many personal, idiosyncratic preferences we have when it comes to eating and drinking. Of course servers know this, but I thought it would be fun to do an experiment to illustrate the point that there are hundreds of variables that go into every restaurant dining experience.

I’ve read thousands of amateur and professional reviews of restaurants over the years. Ok, it’s an obsession. The more I read, the more I know that you “can’t please all of the people all of the time,” especially with something as subjective as dining out.  Everyone has their own idea of exactly how things should be done. The next time you’re dining out with a group, ask everyone what they would do differently about the music, lighting, temperature, noise level, food, drinks,service and ambiance of the restaurant. Or just ask about something as simple as the bread. Do they like the bread? Is it warm enough? Do they like sea salt on their butter? Olive oil instead of butter? Rolls instead of bread? Bread before ordering food or with appetizers? If they owned the restaurant, what kind of bread would they serve?

Initially I thought about including personal  preferences regarding a few items in this experiment (coffee, bread + water), but I decided to keep it as simple as possible.

What is your exact personal preference in terms of drinking water in restaurants?

Here are a few variables to think about:

• Tap, filtered, bottled, flat,  sparkling…
• I only drink _______ brand.
• On-premise, well water if you have it.
• Fresh, running mountain stream only.
• Flavored
• Sippy cover for kids
• Ice/Crushed ice/No ice
• Freezing cold, room temp
• Imported/domestic
• Big glass, wine glass, short glass, tall glass…
• I don’t drink water and I get upset when the server brings it automatically because the world is running out of water, dammit!!
• Lemon? Lime? 3 lemons and 1 lime, but don’t squeeze them…
• Other fruit?
• I want my water waiting at my table and filled vigilantly until I get up to leave. I have a stopwatch and I will blast you on CitySearch, Chowhound, Yelp, and every other amateur review site if my water isn’t refilled within 1.25 minutes of being empty.
• I like when the server leaves a pitcher so we can just fill our glasses at our own pace.
• Straw/No straw

My preference is room-temperature tap water, served in a large glass with no ice, no fruit, no straw. If I’m away from the table when the server takes the order and pours water for the table, I’ll drink whatever is put in front of me. I prefer that my water is replenished throughout the meal. I never bring a stopwatch to a restaurant, and I think nothing of getting up and mentioning refills for our table if necessary.

After we see how easy it is to satisfy our water selections, we’ll talk about menus, drinks and bread. That’s when the real fun begins…

So, in a perfect world, what kind of water do you drink in a restaurant, and how is it served?

Let’s see if we can get 40 responses. Please take a moment to add your comment below. Thank you.

Posted in Observe / Analyze | 49 Comments »