Server Not Servant

“I’m From New York.”

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Personal Pet Peeves

Posted: 05/3/2011

All hail.

I worked a raw bar at an event we catered in New Hampshire a few weeks ago and I could hear Mr. NYC before I could see him. He was the loud guy whose bellicose comments and bravado distinguished him amid the large crowd in front of me. When he made his way to the bar, he barked, Where are these things from?, while rocking side-to side and pointing to the oysters with his hand in the formation of a pistol.

Pleasant Bay in Chatham on Cape Cod. They were harvested yesterday, I replied.

Mr. NYC: I’m from New York City, and we get oysters from all over the world…

Congratulations, sir.

I wonder if anyone has ever told these people what they sound like.

The I’m from New York (or any urban locale) comment is often inserted into a conversation, followed by a pause, as if to say, There is nothing left for me to learn or experience ever again.

I was talking with the owner of a great pizza shop on Cape Cod a few weeks ago and we started discussing the premise of this blog post. After I told him the title he replied; Ah, yes. The Mecca, The Holy Land… (Several New Yorkers have actually conceded to loving his pizza.)

It can be argued that NYC is one of the greatest cities in the world. (Just ask the producers of the LATE SHOW with David Letterman.) I personally love visiting NYC. I’ll spare you the requisite, I have friends from NY line, but I will invite Merf Rosner, Johnny Croce and others to weigh in.

Is it the greatest city? Is any city? It depends on what you’re looking for.

Most stereotypes about groups of people are perpetuated by a handful of individuals who take things to an extreme. I’m sure lots of really cool New Yorkers cringe when they witness their brethren drop the ‘NY bomb’, or embellish their affiliation by designating themselves New Yorkers, despite having spent only a few years in or near the big city.

This post was suggested and inspired by Courtney, a New York native and veteran restaurant industry worker who currently works outside of The Empire State in a highly-acclaimed restaurant. Courtney has encountered numerous customers who have dropped the ‘NY bomb’ expecting shock, awe and adulation. Her response of, Me too, what neighborhood?, often leaves her guests a little disappointed that she isn’t from some rural outpost in the sticks.

My dear friend, Katt Tang, has a knack for making sure her customers enjoy a few laughs to go along with the food and drinks she serves. When a Mr. or Mrs. NYC-type drops, I’m from New York, on her, if she thinks they can handle it, she wryly inserts, I know. 

Touché, Katt.

Servers: Have you experienced the “I’m from New York” crowd?

True New Yorkers: Have you ever been embarrassed by your boasting brethren or NYC imposters?

Permalink | Posted in Personal Pet Peeves | 25 Comments »

Tweet

No One Is Exempt

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Human-to-Human Service

Posted: 04/17/2011

“In the face of fear they were only concerned about others.”

That’s the quote I remember most after bartending at a recent fundraiser for Japan Relief. It came from an American schoolteacher working in Japan when the earthquake struck. Within seconds, her life changed forever, along with the lives of everyone around her as Mother Nature once again reminded us of our vulnerability. 

People often ask me why the people I discuss on the blog, the ones who exemplify Human-to-Human Service, civility and empathy, act the way they do. My hunch is that people who have experienced adversity or tragedy tend to be more aware, empathetic, kind and patient. They have come to realize that our time on earth is short, that we are all a phone call, an accident, a diagnosis or a natural disaster away from devastation. It’s not always the ‘other guy’.

Jodie Gilson from Groton, MA knows about the power of Mother Nature and the awesome kindness of friends and strangers alike. The owner of  J. Gilson Greenhouses, a wholesale grower and supplier of herbs and flowers, Jodie’s greehouses and business collapsed under the weight of the heavy snows of the infamous winter of 2011. A few weeks ago, the close-knit Boston restaurant community, led by Jodie’s son Will, rallied and raised more than 35K to help Jodie rebuild her business. I’ve invited Jodie to share her experience in the comments following this post.

Last Sunday, I worked at a reception celebrating the life of James C. Haddock 75, from Dublin, NH, who died after falling down the stairs in his home. According to the SentinelSource.com Mr. Haddock was a disability social worker and advocate for the developmentally disabled, a cause that would define his life. He was “engaged in a lifelong fight for equality for all.” What a wonderful and important legacy.

I’m not a fatalist, more a jaded optimist, but I think it’s important to remind each other from time to time that we’re not here forever, and all that matters is how we treat each other every day. We’ll all be better of as soon as we realize that the ‘other guy’ is ‘us’, and no one is exempt.

I had the pleasure of meeting Ken Kornelson, a 35-year veteran restaurant server, a few weeks ago. After chatting about customers and service for a bit, Ken left me with a refrain used often by those who serve, “Kindness is free.”

Amen, brother. Amen. 

Permalink | Posted in Human-to-Human Service | 8 Comments »

Tweet

Phantom Gourmet: Jackasses 3

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Human-to-Human Service

Posted: 03/14/2011

This post is long overdue.

On Friday, 2/25 I published a blog post including an open letter to Mike and Dan Andelman, co-owners of Phantom Gourmet, Inc., calling for a public apology for the inappropriate, sexist and deplorable comments they made on their radio show on 2/12.

For those of you who are unaware of the comments, Mike Andelman disparaged a restaurant hostess, calling her dumb, moronic and a monkey after she denied his request to be seated before the dining room opened. Mike also denigrated hostesses as incompetents who can’t do anything else in life. (The audio clip from the program can be found here.)

Dan Andelman asked Mike how the hostess looked from the back, and made other inappropriate sexist comments.

On Saturday, 2/26 Mike and Dan addressed the fallout from their comments on the radio. The program on the 26^thalso marked the return of Dave Andelman who was vacationing during Mike’s encounter at the restaurant and his offensive rant on the radio. The Andelman brothers had a great opportunity to show some real class, but instead, made a mockery of the entire incident.

Some highlights and lowlights from the radio program of 2/26/11:

Dan: This is the biggest controversy that has happened in this company in a long time.

Dave goes away for 2 weeks and during that time, a, happens to be the only 2 weeks in history that a, there was a, a, a, well there was a huge controversy regarding Phantom Gourmet, this particular radio show.

Mike: There wasn’t a controversy! Danny, there was an article written about me in Names and Faces, now that is the Boston Globe’s Inside Track.

Dan: You said some remarks that were reported in the Globe.

Mike: This was not on the I-Team, ok. Joe Bergantino is not knocking on my door.

[Joe Bergantino left the I-Team in 2008...]

Dan: The Globe has never talked about us ever in 4 years. A, Dave goes away for 1 week, a, where, you know, the boss is away so Michael decides to play and Mike goes on a little bit of a rant, it catches fire, it catches the attention of Mark Shanahan and Meredith Goldstein of the Globe and they write it up. Now Dave, you still have not heard the clip?

Dave: I have not heard the audio source…

Mike: You have not read the Pelican Brief? That’s what they’re calling it out there in the foodie community.

Dave: [Before listening to the audio.] Let me just preface this by saying I am seriously surprised that anything we would say on this show would be worthy of news in the Boston Globe. Honestly, who cares?

Dan starts to read the Globe article.

Mike: Facetious is not in quotes. I don’t even know what that means… I called David and I said, listen, give me a good word that means like jackass, always kidding around. He goes, satirical, and I’m like crap, I can’t use that in a sentence…

Dan prepares to play audio of 2/12 radio show.

Mike: Before we go to the tape Danny, can I just say 1 more thing? The reason this came out in the Globe is because Grill 23, which has to be one of the highest-grossing restaurants in the country…

Dan: Great place. Big business.

Dave: Prints money.

Mike: …they [Grill 23] decided to issue a statement against what I said on this radio show, even though they didn’t hear it. They had seen a transcript of it.

[That statement is patently false. Grill 23 management did hear the audio of the 2/12 segment that was posted on the 96.9 website, then later taken down after my blog post.] 

Dave: Our family probably has collectively spent, I don’t know, 10k there over the course of the years. We’ve covered it on the show 100 times saying it’s a great place to go.

Dan: It is a great place.

Dave: Now I am a fan of Grill 23 and I think it is, honest to God, I think it is funny that they issued a statement like it was a politician that was doing crazy bad things. [To this point, Dave has still not heard the tape.]

Mike: (Reading statement from Boston Globe made by Grill 23 owners.) “Himmel Hospitality is shocked and saddened at the personal attack that has been made on an employee in such a public manner.”

I disagree with that [with what, Mike?], and respectfully, since they couldn’t figure out which employee it was. I was going to apologize, but they don’t know who it is.

Dan plays a portion of the clip of the 2/12 show when he asked how the hostess looked from behind.

(Tape is paused)

Dan: I apologize for my rude, insensitive comment about her back. [To Dan’s credit, he did sound sincere.]

Audio continues:

Mike: Danny, the fact that you consistently take the side of the restaurateur or just a really stupid maître d’  or a hostess over your family time and time again…

If the owner of Grill 23 was standing next to this dumb hostess, this moronic hostess who was just getting her, uh, jollies off by sticking to the rules of her little brochure in a little binder…This little monkey, her only job is to look at this binder and say don’t let people in ‘til 5:30.

Dan (to Dave, CEO and spokesperson): Do you think this was so controversial that it should have been in the Boston Globe? Are you offended by what Mike had to say?

Dave: [No acknowledgement of Mike’s ‘dumb’, ‘moron’ and ‘monkey’ comments.] I don’t even think it’s interesting enough for us to be replaying it on our own show. [3 brothers laughing hysterically] I’m waiting for the bomb to drop. That was it? That’s what you had to bother me for in Aruba and all week?

Therein lies the problem. By virtue of ignoring the offensive comments, and supporting his brothers, Dave now joins Mike and Dan in thinking it’s ok to make and defend disingenuous, odious remarks. So much for older and wiser…

Dan: Michael, now that we’ve heard it, do you have something to say to New England? 

Michael: I do. Number one, um, I, if I do find out who the hostess is at Grill 23, and the Boston Globe says they’re not sure who it is, ok, I’ve talked with my wife, um, I want to ask the hostess on a date. I have a hall pass if she would like to go out with me. I will take her out for dinner, for dancing…

I don’t know Danny, you are always the ombudsman of this program. Dad said something about winos, you talked about her [hostess] wearing yoga pants and I called her a moronic hostess. You tell me Danny, you’ve got the final word.

Dan: Frankly, not even in the top hundred offensive or amusing segments we’ve ever done.

Now that’s frightening. I wonder who else they have offended.

Dave: No, there’s nothing even remotely interesting about it.

Dave: They [The Globe] do sort of try to claim there’s a massive online controversy. That’s just not factually accurate. There’s like 4 guys talking to each other online, I mean that’s ridiculous.

Talk about clueless.

Dave-Click here and read all the links imbedded in the post. Tens of thousands of people have read and talked about the inappropriate, derogatory and misogynist comments made by Mike and Dan, and now they’ll be talking about your defending them.

Mike: I do apologize when I said all hostesses are moronic and stupid, and I do 100% apologize. I’m not including the average-looking ones who do a very good job. [Dan laughs hysterically.] I am only talking about the hot ones who have no idea…

Nice job making a mockery of an opportunity to do the right thing. Suffering through another 3 hours of Andelman antics on the radio confirmed how ignorant and crass they really are.

Here is Mike’s original quote from 2/12 that he was referencing:

There’s not a hostess who’s not good looking because they’re incompetent and can’t do anything else in life. If you can’t model, when you’re good looking enough and not tall enough to model, you stand behind a little box and say, “How many?”

One hour into the 2/26 program I received the following email from Heidi Raphael, VP Corporate Communications of Greater Media, Inc., the parent company of WTKK-FM where Phantom Gourmet airs. Despite its brevity, the message says it all.

“Greater Media has a great deal of respect for service industry workers and does not endorse or support the recent statements made by the Andelmans during their paid programming show on WTKK. We do not speak for them, nor do they speak for us.”

None of the hundreds of current and former restaurant industry workers who contacted me over the last few weeks is buying Mike’s childish, I was just kidding, I’m just a jackass defense. Everyone remotely involved with the restaurant community, with any credibility, understands exactly what the Andelmans are all about. Introspection and decency are lost on them. Their long-standing reputation for crassness and classless behavior has been bolstered by this incident.

Permalink | Posted in Human-to-Human Service | 17 Comments »

Tweet

To Mike and Dan Andelman: A Call for A Public Apology

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Human-to-Human Service

Posted: 02/25/2011

Subsequent to my last blog post, I sent an email to several members of all types of media asking the following question:

If someone called your daughter, co-worker, sister, mother, girlfriend, partner, wife, female friend or relative a moron and a monkey for doing her job, what would you do?

The email went on to say:

Michael Andelman, of Phantom Gourmet infamy, did just that on his radio show on 2/12 referencing a hostess at Grill 23, one of Boston’s most respected restaurants since they opened in 1983. He also stated that all hostesses were incompetent and incapable of doing anything else. The degradation of women and insults made on the radio program are unacceptable.

In response to the email, The Boston Globe contacted Mike Andelman and ran a story on 2/23 stating, he [Mike] told us the comments were meant to be facetious. “Our radio show is obviously satire.”

Anyone who listens to the audio (below) will know that Mike’s, “I was just kidding” excuse is a lame attempt at backpedalling.

Today I sent the enclosed email to Mike and Dan Andelman and cc’d everyone at Phantom Gourmet and the executives at Greater Media, Inc., who own and operate WTKK, 96.9-FM, the radio station from which Mike and Dan made their insulting comments.

Please read the email and see the recommendations at the end of this post if you support the call for a public apology from the Andelmans.

Dear Mike and Dan-

My name is Patrick Maguire. I author a blog called, I’m Your Server Not Your Servant, advocating for service industry workers.

I’m sure you are aware of the responses that have ensued as a result of the comments you made on the Phantom Gourmet radio program aired on 2/12/11 on WTKK-FM, 96.9.

In case you missed any of them, they can all be accessed here:

- 2/18/11 Blog Post- Server Not Servant: All Hostesses are Good-Looking, Incompetent and Can’t Do Anything Else in Life. Really?
- 2/21/11 Universal HUB: It’s painful to watch grown men in the media throw tantrums.
- 2/22/11 Grub Street-Boston: The Phantom Gourmet Can’t Get Seated at Grill 23, Performs Un-P.C. Pout
- 2/23/11 Boston Globe: ‘Phantom’ host grilled for remarks
- 2/23/11 Grub Street-Boston: Phantom Gourmet Specializes in Satire, Not Offensiveness
- 2/22/11 Universal HUB: Grill 23 owners say Phantom Gourmet proves the customer isn’t always right
- 2/22/11 Boston Yelp Talk
- 2/23/11 Chowhound-Food and Media News
- 2/23/11 A Boston Food Diary: The Public Humiliation of a Hostess                                     - 2/26/11 You Just Got Sat-Not a Phan

I recommend that you read all of the comments following each piece.

You had a week between radio shows to reflect on your comments that were posted on the 96.9 website (2/12/11 Eddie and Mike go to a Celtics game), and to consider issuing a public apology on your 2/19 program. You failed to do that, and mysteriously the audio has been removed from the 96.9 website.

The only public comments I have seen from either one of you are in a piece by Mark Shanahan & Meredith Goldstein in The Boston Globe on 2/23:

“Phantom Gourmet” host Mike Andelman is surprised by the online criticism concerning comments he made on “The Phantom Gourmet” radio show about restaurant hostesses. Ranting about a Grill 23 hostess who wouldn’t seat him in the dining room before the dinner hour began, Andleman said all restaurant hostesses are attractive but incompetent. Yesterday, he told us the comments were meant to be facetious. “Our radio show is obviously satire,”…

Are you really surprised, Mike? You called a woman a moron and a monkey!!!

In case you haven’t listened to your comments from the 2/12 program, here is the audio:

WTKK-FM, 96.9: 2/12 Eddie and Mike go to a Celtics game

Mike- The audio makes it clear that you weren’t being facetious while hurling invective at Grill 23, their hostess, and all hostesses during your radio rant. You sounded angry, agitated and vindictive. Attempting to employ the pathetic, “I was just kidding” excuse to downplay your comments and cover your tracks won’t fly.

If you stand by your comments, then why not re-post the audio on 96.9 and on the Phantom Gourmet website?

I am writing on behalf of everyone who has contacted me and asked me to request a public apology from you and Dan. Here is who deserves an apology and why:

#1. The hostess at Grill 23.

Your comments from the 2/12 radio show:

We walk in and the hostess who’s the typical hot woman, rude, cold-as-ice, never would talk to me in high school-type girl…She goes, “Two?”, and I said, yes. And she looks at us and says, “I’m sorry, we’re not open until 5:30, so there’s nothing I can do.”

If the owner of Grill 23 was standing next to this dumb hostess, this moronic hostess who was just getting her, uh, jollies off by sticking to rules of  her little brochure in a little binder. This little monkey, her only job is to look at this binder and say don’t let people in ‘till 5:30.

Your sexist comments insult and degrade a whole class of service employees.

How would you respond if someone made those comments about a female family member, friend or colleague of yours on a public radio show?

Are you still surprised about the criticism?

A small sampling of comments from SNS blog readers after reading my recent blog post:

A Boston Food Diary: Might I ask – what on earth makes them think that this woman’s appearance has anything to do with their not getting to break the rules as they apply to EVERY patron of Grill 23?…Might I remind you that all of this is because she was unable, not that she wouldn’t, but she was unable to satisfy a request that blatantly went against the rules of her place of employment.

Jules: When will people understand that “no” does not always equal rude?

DC: The comments made about the hostess are insanely inappropriate. To call anyone a “little monkey” is beyond rude. To not just imply, but to say outright that she is stupid and incapable is worse, but to comment on her body like she’s a piece of meat? Disgusting. Every host I worked with was in college and working until midnight to pay for it. Glad the Andelmans have such a high opinion of women.

CP: …what struck me about this is that he probably wouldn’t have treated a man like that or made such remarks after the fact. Ugh!

Beth: Wow. I deal with ‘guests’ like this every shift at work. They are rude, condescending and clearly have no idea how a restaurant works. I’ve been in the business for 17 years. Since they think that it’s monkey work, they can come work with a shift beside me for a night and see how they feel after that.

#2- All current and former restaurant hostesses.

Your comments from the 2/12 show:

There’s not a hostess who’s not good-looking because they’re incompetent and can’t do anything else in life. If you can’t model, when you’re good-looking enough and not tall enough to model, you stand behind a little box and say, “How many?”

- This insulting, offensive generalization is wrong on so many levels.

Comments by SNS readers:

Jules: 90% of our hostesses are either college-educated or in college. One of them has been accepted to multiple Ivy League schools, she just needs to pick one. Sound like a brainless monkey to you?

SkippyMom: I have served with hosts and hostesses of all types (male, female, ‘good-looking’, not so ‘good-looking’, educated, working on a degree, not ‘educated’.) – and I will tell you – it is a dang hard job – and being “pretty” isn’t a requirement and being told “no” is NOT being rude, it is their job.

Ali: I’ve been a hostess in my life on a number of occasions. Currently, I’m getting my PhD. That is all.

Rebs: If they think that hosting only involves looking good and asking “How many?” then they are clearly clueless…Hosts have to multi-task as much as anyone else on the floor. Greeting guests, fielding phone calls, taking coats, seating guests, managing the seating chart, managing the wait list, making sure all servers are getting an equal amount of covers [guests]. Occasionally they take cocktail orders and deliver them. All while looking cool and calm.

Lotsie: Hey Michael-Just thought you should know – I am a hostess. I’m also a full-time student graduating from Harvard University this spring with a BA in Psychology. And, oh, by the way, I’m also a professional ballet dancer. Clearly, according to you, I’m incapable of doing anything else besides asking, “How Many?” when people like you come in to eat. Just thought you should keep this in mind for the future – some of us want to be working there, some of us need to be working, but none of us are incompetent and/or incapable of doing anything else. In fact, most of us will probably do much more important things with our lives in the long run than you. That’s all.

#3- The owners and employees of  Grill 23. All restaurant employees. All diners, and everyone who listens to or watches you – including your ‘Phans’.

You’re supposed to be a restaurant guy who is familiar with how and why restaurants operate the way they do. For better or for worse, (in this case worse) some people trust you for dining advice and restaurant etiquette. You should know how well-run restaurants work.

The Grill 23 incident, and your subsequent comments, indicate that you do not understand standard restaurant protocol, nor how to escalate service or hospitality concerns. When you set a bad example for the dining public, you fuel the ignorant, entitled contingent who think it’s ok to run roughshod over employees and then complain about them when they don’t get their way.

Restaurant customers have almost as much influence on the success of the dining experience as do restaurant employees. Putting up with the demanding public goes with the territory as a restaurant employee, but tolerating abuse and disparaging, inappropriate remarks should not.

Mike (on the radio) 2/12: Yeah, she says no, and so we basically, you know under our breath say F-you and we leave, and we walk across the street.

- On the radio segment, you never mentioned asking for, or speaking with, a manager. If the explanation by the hostess wasn’t sufficient, you should have spoken with a manager on the spot. Instead, you did nothing and set a bad example for diners and all amateur restaurant reviewers by using your radio platform to complain. By doing so, you are encouraging misguided, elitist customers who think that bitching publicly (Yelp, Chowhound, etc.) is better than speaking with someone in the restaurant who can listen, react and possibly remedy a problem.

Comments by SNS readers:

Rachel: I used to be a hostess and fielded a million ‘Mikes’…And in those teeming masses that came to the restaurant every night, there were always 20+ a night that thought that they were just so much more special than the rest in the crowd and the rules that management had put in place to ensure that the crowd was accommodated in the most efficient way possible. So, to see things through the hostess’ eyes, she had a very clear rulebook to follow, had probably told at least 5 of the 20 people who were in the bar (as per the rules) that they could not seat themselves in the closed restaurant, and now had her 6th person trying to do the same.

Sue: Most of us who work in the “service industry,” including restaurant hosts and hostesses, are not there because we’re stupid; or because we have no other choice. We actually find pleasure in our jobs, whether it’s the good, honest work or the opportunity to meet and interact with a multitude of people. Those guys owe that hostess, and Grill 23, a great big apology…

If I had run and gotten the manager every time some whiny bastard acted like he had never been asked to wait in a busy restaurant before, the manager would hate me for it. If Mike had asked to speak to a manager, or become utterly intractable, then, yes, a manager would have to be consulted …

K Town: The fact that they didn’t ask for a manager flags them as rubes. Phantom Gourmet is not to be trusted if they do not understand how to be diners or how to lead by example.

DC: I worked in restaurants for 8 years, including some very high-end ones…Feel free to make requests; most will happily honor them. Vegetarian? No problem. Table too wobbly? Will fix. But demanding that a restaurant open early when the kitchen is probably still prepping, when most of the staff is eating family meal, when the dining room is being cleaned and set to your exacting standards, when the servers are learning the night’s specials and the host is making sure all reservations will have a place to sit? No. The customer is not right in this situation, and the hostess was doing her job by offering the customer an alternative.

Jay: I’m sorry I missed the [Phantom Gourmet radio] segment. I called to ask if they’d run it a bit earlier so I could catch it, and can you believe they said no?!?

Brett: Concerning their remarks on the radio program – they should be ashamed of themselves. Hearing that type of dialogue (on air!) makes my blood boil, not just because I have been in the business for over 20 years and started as a host, but because of the idiotic commentary from people who claim to be restaurant ‘experts’.

Alex: The frequency of this situation truly illustrates the sense of entitlement that people feel in restaurants. The Andelman’s sense of “give me what I want now” happens all too frequently. Show me any other retail (which is what restaurants are) store that will let you do whatever you want when you want to. Just try and go to Macy’s and tell the staff there that while you understand they don’t officially open until 10, you don’t have anything to do for the next 30 minutes and would just like to browse around while they set up…

MC Slim JB: There’s a line, a tipping point, where the needs of one customer impinges on the smooth operation of the business, and can make other customers feel put out as well. Yes, you risk losing that particular customer, but for most businesses, that will be a net gain. This would be true even if you didn’t risk making your employees feel undervalued by always taking the side of every customer with an undeserved sense of entitlement. Bend over backwards, by all means, but don’t break your own neck doing it.

Dan Andelman- Here are the comments you made on the 2/12 radio show in response to Mike’s comments about the Grill 23 hostess:

How did she look from the back?

Although in her defense she was good-looking, apparently. I’d like to see a picture. Was she wearing yoga pants? These are things I want to know. I have a thing for hostesses.

I don’t think you need anyone to elaborate on why your comments were inappropriate and who deserves an apology.

This email is being circulated via blog post to every current and former restaurant industry employee I can reach, all members of the Massachusetts Restaurant Association, as well as every media outlet and restaurant in the Greater Boston Area and beyond.

————————————————————————————————————————

If you support this call for a public apology, here are some things you can do to get involved:

#1. Send the Andelmans an email and tell them what you think.

Mike Andelman: michael@phantomgourmet.com

Dan Andelman: dan@phnatomgourmet.com

Dave Andelman: dave@phantomgourmet.com

#2. Copy management at Greater Media, Inc.

Tom Baker-Boston Market Manager: tbaker@greatermediaboston.com

Grace Blazer- Boston Program Director: gblazer@greaterbostonmedia.com

Peter Smythe- Chairman and CEO: psmyth@greatermedia.com

Edward Nolan- VP and CFO: enolan@greatermedia.com

Heidi Raphael- VP Corporate Communications: hraphael@greatermedia.com

Feel free to cc me on your email @ patrick@servernotservant.com

#3- Write “Boycott Until Apology” every time Phantom Gourmet posts on their facebook wall.

#4- Write “Boycott Until Andelmans Apologize” every time 96.9 posts something on facebook.

#4- Call the studio line at 96.9 between 4-7 on Saturday during the Phantom Gourmet radio program and tell them you support a public apology. The studio line is 617-822-1969, or Verizon wireless #969.

#5 Forward this link to everyone who should know about it.

Thank you.

Permalink | Posted in Human-to-Human Service | 20 Comments »

Tweet

All Hostesses are Good-Looking, Incompetent and Can’t Do Anything Else in Life. Really?

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Customer Hall of Shame

Posted: 02/18/2011

So wrong, on so many levels.

I started paying attention to the Phantom Gourmet after they asked me to appear on their TV show representing restaurant servers during a ‘food fight’ segment pitting servers against chefs. The morning after I agreed to appear, I sent an email to the senior producer (who booked me) asking if Phantom Gourmet had made a decision about their affiliation with The Upper Crust Pizzeria, a major sponsor embroiled in a controversy involving their exploitation of undocumented workers. Pending allegations against the owner of Upper Crust include a threat to kill a former veteran manager.

If Phantom Gourmet had plans to sever their relationship with Upper Crust, I was going to honor with my commitment. There was no response to my email so I left a voicemail and a second email the next day. No response. In all fairness, it was Christmas week, but I did not receive an auto-response email stating that the producer was on vacation, and his outgoing voicemail message didn’t state that he was out of the office.

The next day I watched the Phantom Gourmet TV program and confirmed that they were still running Upper Crust ads. A day later they unabashedly promoted Upper Crust on facebook. That endorsement solidified their position, and was enough for me to withdraw from the TV show via email. I never received a response from the producer.

For those of you unfamiliar with Phantom Gourmet, they are a Boston-based company that features weekly radio and TV shows devoted to food, restaurants and dining out. The company is owned by the Andelman brothers, Dan, Dave and Mike. Their mystique (shtick is more accurate) is centered around an anonymous restaurant critic (the Phantom) whose reviews appear on their program.

Their shows are largely infomercials for their sponsors laced with more inane banter than I can stomach. Though it is widely known that their singular ‘phantom’ critic is a myth (several people gather research), they have a widespread following of fawning ‘Phans’ (cringe) chugging their purple Kool-Aid. Ironically, they often mock and insult their own audience as well as the people who attend and work at their events.

Their motto: Food and Fun is all we serve.

Yeah, with a side of extra cheese…

I tuned in to a few of the Phantom Gourmet programs, only to see if they responded to the widespread media coverage surrounding the Upper Crust imbroglio. As far as I know, they have not publicly responded to any of the stories questioning their support of Upper Crust, including those published in the Boston Phoenix, Adam’s Hospitality & Tourism Blog, Universal HUB, Grub Street Boston, Yelp, Dave Copeland’s blog and this blog.

One exception was a facebook post by Dave Andelman quoted on Dave Copeland’s blog:

Dave Andelman: Some blogs and real media companies tried taking some unfair, untrue, and obviously coordinated shots at Phantom Gourmet last week. We immediately added 500 Facebook Phans and dominated the TV ratings. They never learn….

Dominated the TV ratings? Opposite what competition?

Copeland’s blog also quotes several comments from rabid Phantom ‘Phans’ followed by another flame-fanning (or is it ‘phanning’?), lame, cheerleading comment from Dave:

Dave Andelman: Purple power, people. Thanks ya’ll.

Purple power? Really? Lemming power is more like it.

Fast-forward to the Phantom Gourmet radio program on Saturday, 2/12. The infamous Phantom Gourmet radio program is one of the most painful media programs I have ever endured. The inane, vapid banter between the 3 brothers is punctuated by Dan Andelman’s incessant, maniacle, hyena-like laughter that is torture to tolerate.

Saturday’s program started with a story about Mike and Eddie Andelman going to dinner before the Celtics-Lakers game. Eddie, the sportscaster patriarch of the family, was filling in for Dave who was on vacation. Michael  mentioned that they chose Grill 23 for dinner and arrived at 5:05.

When you ask Bostonians about the best steak houses in town, Grill 23 is often their number one choice. The food and service are consistently excellent.

The Grill 23 website states the following:

Hours:

Monday-Thursday 5:30pm to 10:30pm

Bar opens daily at 4:30pm

For the record: There are 2 bars for customers to wait in before dinner service starts at 5:30. The first floor bar area has nineteen stools and the second floor bar has ten stools.

Mike and Eddie wanted to be seated in the dining room as soon as they arrived in order to get to the Celtics game on time at 8 o’clock. The hostess informed them that the bar was open, but the dining room didn’t open until 5:30. Apparently, there were no barstools open so Mike and Eddie suggested that they get a drink from the bar and sit at a table in the dining room and wait until 5:30 for dinner service. The hostess informed them that she couldn’t seat them until 5:30. That wasn’t good enough.

Here are some quotes from the radio program:

Mike Andelman: We walk in and the hostess who’s the typical hot woman, rude, cold- as-ice, never would talk to me in high school-type girl…So she goes, “Two?”, and I said yes, and she looks at us and says, “I’m sorry, we’re not open until 5:30, so there’s nothing I can do.”

Dan Andelman: And what time was this at?

Mike: 5:05.

Eddie Andelman: It was about 5:10.

Mike: She said the bar over there, you can stand at the bar and have a drink.

Eddie: There’s no seats.

Dan: At the bar?

Eddie: At the bar. It’s crowded.

Mike: There’s like 20 people standing at the bar. There’s no room at the bar.

Dan: Great bar there, potato chips and everything.

Mike: Great bar, but Eddie and I aren’t exactly going to saddle up to the bar and get hammered. We’re there for dinner. So she looks at us and says, “I can’t do anything for you,” and I said, Well can you just, and she turned her back on us and basically wouldn’t talk to us any more.

Dan: How did she look from the back?

Mike: And so Eddie and I said this is the most ridiculous, rude treatment we’ve ever gotten in a restaurant.

Eddie: Well I said to her, Is it all right if we sit down? There’s not one person. The tables are all set. Can we sit down there and have some drinks ‘till 5:30? And she said, “NO!”

Mike: Yeah, she says no, and so we basically, you know, under our breath say F-you, and we leave, and we walk across the street.

Dan: I don’t get it…, the restaurant was open, she just wouldn’t seat you?

Mike: No…, the dining room did not open until 5:30.

Eddie: They don’t serve until 5:30. We were willing to sit at a table and have some drinks until 5:30, even if we had to get some drinks from the bar and walk over to a table.

Dan: Yeah, but they weren’t open yet.

Michael: The restaurant was open. The bar was open. Every server was there. You think it was going to make a big deal if Eddie and I sat down…?

Dan: Michael, I’m being completely serious…They are not open until 5:30. What the hell…Why do you think you’re so special that you had to be seated?

Eddie: If there were seats at the bar we might have done it, but there’s tables 8 feet away from the bar that we could sit at.[The dining room tables are behind a half wall separating the bar from the dining room.]

Dan: Maybe the servers are all in their pre-meal meeting; maybe they’re eating; maybe they’re doing side work; maybe they’re cleaning, maybe they’re getting dressed…

Mike: Danny, the fact that you consistently take the side of the restaurateur or just a really stupid maître d’ or a hostess over your family time and time again, you just continually…(cut off).

Mike: The era is over of being able to treat customers like crap. It’s just over. I don’t understand.

Eddie: There’s 25 steakhouses in Boston.

Mike: And it’s not like this was 8pm on a Saturday night. It’s 5 o’clock, and guess what, if the owner of Grill 23 was standing next to this dumb hostess, this moronic hostess who was just getting her, uh, jollies off by sticking to the rules of her little brochure in a little binder, this little monkey, her only job is to look at this binder and say don’t let people in ‘till 5:30….

Dan: Although in her defense she was good-looking apparently. I’d like to see a picture. Was she wearing yoga pants? These are things I want to know. I have a thing for hostesses (laughing).

Mike: There’s not a hostess who’s not good-looking, because they’re incompetent and can’t do anything else in life. If you can’t model, when you’re good-looking enough and not tall enough to model, you stand behind a little box and say, How many?

Wow.

(A few  irrelevant comments have been omitted between quotes, including Eddie’s comment about not wearing underwear. Ouch.)

Saturday, 2/19 update: Please disregard everything from here down to “A few questions.” The audio has been removed from the 96.9 website. The fact that it was ever available after the show is mind-boggling. I have retained a recorded copy if anyone would like to hear it.

For context, the entire conversation from the broadcast (that I recorded for translation) can be heard here:

http://www.969bostontalks.com/podcast/Episodes.aspx?PID=1486

(The relevant content is the first 8 and a half minutes.)

Be patient, the site loads slowly.

Click on play to the right of: 2/12/11 Eddie and Mike go to a Celtics game.

I encourage everyone who will be commenting on this post to listen to the segment before commenting.

A few questions:

Mike Andelman:

#1- How does a guy who makes his living around dining out and researching and discussing restaurants not understand why Grill 23 wouldn’t allow you to sit at a table before dinner service started?

Dan hit the nail on the head with his explanation. The dining room doesn’t open until 5:30. What if they let everyone who arrived early wander into the dining room and sit down? Once you make an exception or try to be flexible, people always want more. Before you know it, diners would start with, “Can we just look at a menu while we wait?”, “Is there any chance we could just get some bread?”, “Can we just get some water?” In other words, they’ll ask you to serve them before service starts.

And what happens when someone breaks a glass or spills their drink all over the table? More service is required when the service staff is busy learning the daily specials or working on a multitude of other tasks required to prepare the dining room for service.

Grill 23 has been in business since 1983. I’m sure they have experimented with their hours and policies over the years. On my list of 64 Suggestions for Restaurant Customers, number 23 reads, Respect the fact that restaurants have policies for specific reasons, despite the fact that they might not make sense to you.

Instead of thinking about that, you proceeded to leave the restaurant and then insult the hostess (and all hostesses), and trash the restaurant on your public radio program including the statement, “I will never spend another cent at Grill 23.” Your loss.

#2- How can the co-owner of Phantom Gourmet and VP of business development (you), rationalize the adjectives you used to describe the hostess at Grill 23? You referred to her as stupid, dumb, moronic and a monkey because you didn’t get your way.

#3- Did you ask to speak to a manager to explain their policy or to voice your concern about the rude service? No, but you didn’t hesitate to blast the restaurant on your radio show.

#4- How can you justify the sweeping generalization that you made about all hostesses when your business is all about promoting restaurants?

Referring to hostesses: “…they’re incompetent and can’t do anything else in life.” Really?

I’ll bet there are a few current and former hostesses who would take exception to that statement.

In a very entertaining and informative piece, one of Boston’s most knowledgeable food and drink writers, MC Slim JB, dubbed you (Mike) the “dumbest of the Dumb Brothers”. After listening to the first 10 minutes of Saturday’s program, you did nothing to prove MC wrong or to dispel that notion.

Current and Former Hostesses:

Please respond to Michael Andelman’s comments, and please forward this post to every current and former hostess you know.

Grill 23:

Please feel free to clarify your policies and weigh in on all of the issues presented.

Restaurateurs and Restaurant Employees:

If you own or work at a fine-dining restaurant similar to Grill 23, please comment on the issue and policies of opening times of the bar and dining room.

Dave Andelman:

What ’shots’ were taken at Phantom Gourmet by blogs or ‘real media’ companies that were unfair or untrue?

Brothers Andelman:

Don’t feel obligated to respond. After all, this isn’t ‘real media’, it’s just a blog…

Readers:

Please join the conversation. Despite the temptation, please keep the comments respectful and civil. As always, all comments will be moderated before they are posted.

Please click on the blue box below to share with your facebook network. Thank you.

Permalink | Posted in Customer Hall of Shame | 52 Comments »

Tweet