Boston & Beyond
Subscribe
Sign up for email updates on new blog posts.
Server Snapshots
Support Server Not Servant
To encourage more blog posts, and expedite the publication of the Server Not Servant book, please consider a (non-deductible) contribution. Thank you.
The Book
Search
Archives
You Missed a Spot
By: Patrick Maguire
Book Chapter: Personal Pet Peeves
Posted: 03/11/2010
On the facebook group I created to support my blog and book project, I’ve asked readers to submit photos of workers in action and their tools of the trade. I’ve also posted several of my own photos on the group page and here on the right-hand side of the blog. Some “expert” bloggers discourage the use of photos on blog pages because they think the photos are a distraction. I like showing real working people because I think it makes the blog posts more personal.
Earlier today, after thinking about a new profile picture for the facebook group, I decided to use one of my trusty, old, Purdy Paint Brushes for the photo. I used to operate a painting business and still own some of the brushes I used a very long time ago. As I was uploading the photo, I started thinking about all of the inane, nonsensical comments that people made while we were working. Most of the comments weren’t original or funny, and we heard them over and over again. They drove us crazy. So I sent a text to some of the guys who used to paint with me and asked them to remind me about the comments people made while we worked.
Here are a few of the responses, including some of my own pet peeves:
– When you’re done with that, can you come over to my house?
(Yes, as long as you’re prepared to pay us, preferably in cash.)
– What kind of paint do you use? (I would often say, Fred’s just to bust ’em.)
– Is it hot enough for you? (Someone would always make this comment on a hundred-degree day when we were scraping old paint directly over our heads with chips, dirt, and dust falling into our sweaty, open pores.) No, we actually wish it was 50 degrees hotter and more humid…
– You missed a spot. (No I didn’t. Get away from me.)
And then there were the people who would see us at breakfast, in a store, or at a gas station, with our work clothes covered with paint and caulking who would say, Looks like you have more paint on you than on the house, or, Did you get any on the wall? (Absolute idiots.)
Is it that hard to just shut up and walk on by when people are working? Too many people feel compelled to make stupid, clichéd small talk. Most workers loathe the gratuitous, asinine comments, and they’re not funny. (And the next time you see someone carrying flowers, please try to bite your tongue in lieu of, Are they for me?)
I know I’m sounding grouchy, but people in every industry have a certain amount of bullshit that they have to put up with. Some of it just goes with the territory and you have to suck it up and deal with it. However, some of it can be avoided, like the ridiculous comments from the peanut gallery.
I’d love to hear your stories about the stupid, redundant comments you’ve had to endure while on the job.
36 Responses to “You Missed a Spot”
Leave a Reply
Permalink | Posted in Personal Pet Peeves | 36 Comments »
“Big guy.” Hate it. My Newfoundland dogs: “bears!”
“Are you sure that’s decaf?”
(often times followed by, “…because if it’s not, I’m going to call you at three in the morning when I can’t sleep!”)
Sometimes the threats are even worse than that. I’ve come to immediately announce the decaf’s decaf status as I’m taking the saucer off of my tray and then placing the cup right on top (always careful not to drip into the saucer).
I tend to avoid annoyances like this whenever possible. Another one that really gets me is the following:
Table gets sat as an incomplete party. There are four menus and two individuals. I am not blind and can visibly see this. I greet the table, offering something to drink while they wait for their guests. Immediately they are put on the defense. “We’re waiting for others!!” they practically shout and immediately begin huffing and puffing – eyes darting all around the room (and everywhere but eye-level with me).
I started greeting the table with, “I SEE THAT YOU’RE WAITING FOR OTHERS…but would you like anything in the meantime?”
They usually say no. Americans think it’s only polite to start drinking when the entire party shows up, but don’t have the sense to wait until everyone at the table is finished before they demand that their finished plate be removed.
There are plenty more…but some of them would be downright offensive for me to dare to bring up…
Oh well…one more…
the GLUtards. The liars who say they have celiac disease when all they really have is the rich, old, white lady eating disorder that compels them to do whatever they can to ensure that their husband continues to look at them. (I’m a white lady, but not rich and I’d like to think I’m reasonably intelligent…unlike these pathetic fools…)
To be fair, there is a very small percentage of the population who have celiac disease. Those people would most likely go to the hospital if they had flour. They are not the people who will go to the restaurant and make a big production over their dietary restriction.
I just want to say to the next rich, old white lady who tells me that she’s gluten free and says it like she just discovered the Atkins’ diet…”OOOh, it’s so BRAVE of you to come out about your eating disorder…I can TOTALLY relate. I was anorexic in high school…”
Ahh, there are so many…but I’ll go with this one because it still stands out in my mind all these years later.
My first job in a restaurant at age 16 was at this gigantic seafood place as a hostess/cashier. The first thing you HAD to say (dictated by management) when someone came up to the register was: “How was your meal?” Now, this place catered to a lot of older folks and usually it was the seventy year old man paying for the meal and I swear 7 out of 10 would say “Terrible!” and when you asked why they would answer, “Just checking to see if you were paying attention!” or, “just kidding!” and when you would feign relief they would chuckle and say, ” I bet you don’t hear that often” to which of course you would answer, “No! we don’t!” all the while thinking how badly you would like to punch them in the side of the head for being the 250th person to have said that to you THAT DAY…
Having difficulty during a stormy night, struggling with a bottle of unpredictable Lambrusco, I realize that the cork just does NOT want to come out. I am a strong woman and cannot budge this cork. I understand that the barometric pressure of the atmosphere can affect the ability to open a bottle of sparkling wine, so I explain this to my guest. She tells me that she is also a server… and explains that I should twist the bottle, not the cork. Weeeeelll, I’ve been doing just this for the last painful four minutes. I explain and apologize that I need another server to open the bottle. She then offers to open the bottle for me. “Oh, I can do it, I know what I’m doing!” She might as well have slapped me in the face with her pencil-thick arms. It took 2 tries by 2 different big MEN that I worked with to get the cork out of the bottle. The woman still maintained that ” she could have done it better…” Infuriating when another server tries to pull rank at a restaurant that isn’t their own…
I can totally identify. When I worked as a cook a couple years back, I had to stop by a grocery store on my way home every so often. You’d think that, at certain 24-hour groceries, you’d not get much crap at, say, two in the morning, when not many people are out shopping.
But they’re always out there.
I’d get out of work, exhausted at two in the morning and head to my local 24-hour grocery store to pick up some items for my home before heading home, showering, and crashing until my next shift. Sure, I’d still be in my cook’s whites, somewhat stained, and probably smelling of the night’s dinner service. I’d like to think I’d be a bit less offensive at 2 a.m. than, say, screaming children, out-of-control B.O. (you know who you are), or boozed up creeps breathing their Bud-breath down the back of my neck. (I know, I work nights, that sort of goes with the territory in 24-hour marts. I’m used to that now. Sort of.)
I got the culinary variance of the “Did you get more paint on the house?” thing quite a few times regarding my whites while out shopping on these occasions. As a naturally sarcastic girl (always in a nice way, of course!) I had to bite my tongue, smile, and laugh, while thinking, “Just shut the F up, I know you’re finding this funny and making nice, but be quiet, please. I’ve had a long night, I don’t find your brand of humor amusing right now. I’ve dealt with being behind the line for eight hectic hours, turning out the best I can for our customers. I’d just like to shop in a bit of peace. I’m sorry if my stained whites offend and/or intrigue you into making conversation. I know I look may look like something the cat dragged in due to sweating all night over the grill and I’m sure my deodorant might have crapped out a few hours ago. I’m sorry if I don’t feel like much like cheerily chatting at two in the morning over the zucchini or in the checkout lane. I really don’t appreciate your somewhat “witty” exchange, if it can be called that at all. I would really just like to get my groceries and go home and shower. It’s two in the morning, please, SHUT UP.”
I know I’m probably coming across cranky here as well. Most people mean well, I understand that. I do have a sense of humor.
Horribly skewed, yes, but it’s still there. I think. 😉
~Kris
Very funny article. My first job was delivering groceries for a mom & pop grocer in Dorchester. This was when I was just a kid and didn’t even have a license, so I’d have to deliver boxes on foot. It was bad enough during the summer when it was boiling out, but winter was worse. I can’t even tell you how many times I heard “Cold enough for ya?” Well let’s see, I just walked about a half a mile from my store to your house, it’s 13 degrees outside and there’s 8 inches of snow on the ground AND your front steps and walkway aren’t even salted. Yes, it’s cold enough. It’s snowy enough. It’s icy enough. And that buck tip you just gave me, isn’t enough. Dopes.
Straight From The Barkeep:
the people who ask “is the beer cold?”…
Do you really think we would serve WARM beer?
the people that think they are doing the bartender a favor by paying as they go or putting their cash on the bar BEFORE they order…
I am responsible for collecting payment for your drinks…If you want to pay cash that is fine.. BUT if you are going to order seven drinks for five different people in four different orders PLEASE say YES when I ask if you want to “start a tab”…I really don’t need to make change four different times for a $32.00 sale..EXPECT to go home with a pocket full of one dollar bills because we know you are leaving me the coins
Don’t make eye contact with the bartender if you don’t want a drink. I will come and ask you what you want to order when I see eye contact..if you say “Nothin'”…”all set”… or “not yet”..I will avoid your eye contact for the rest of the night
Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.
If you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.
Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying “I’m an idiot.”
Never preface a conversation to a bartender with “I know this is going to be a hassle, but…”
sometime people turn into rude folk at their favorite bar…sometimes rude people go to bars…… don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Your bartender has complete control over how much you drink and how fast you get it.
Ooh! Where to begin. I’m a casino cocktail server, and there are plenty of zingy one-liners that get my goat on a daily basis (do people think that they’re clever? How can this stuff NOT be seen as insulting?).
It usually begins with, after I’ve taken the order, “How long’s THAT gonna take?” I usually reply with the standard answer (12 minutes, which is our supposed turn-around time), but I’ve heard of servers saying, “Start looking at your watch now. When you see me come back, tell me how long it’s been.” Ouch. I could never get away with that one! LOL!
My favorite is, “What took you so long/I thought you forgot me/I thought you went home/I thought you went to Columbia for the coffee/Did you go milk a cow for the milk/shake/cream?” To me, that’s a giant slap in the face. It’s like saying, “Hey, you’re only job is to serve, and you can’t even do that very well? You suck.” It’s like, I’m bringing you something that you’re going to put in your body; shouldn’t you be nice to me? I would never “do anything” to anyone’s beverage, but I know people who have been so abused that they’ve done it. It’s not hard to respect a server, they’re working people just like most. I know that I’m more than accommodating and kind to everyone–but why would you return kindness with that attitude?
Of course there’s the “Are you SURE this is diet/decaf/Stoli” etc (as another poster mentioned). Yup, I’m sure. I’m not trying to screw you over. Again…picture me, doing this job every day, and knowing what I’m doing! Amazing! That goes hand in hand with this one:
“Excuse me, what do you have on your tray there?”
“Well, I’ve got a vodka/cranberry, a sex on the beach, a diet, and a coffee.”
“Oh. Do you have a rum and coke?”
“No, but I do have a vodka/cranberry and a sex on the beach.”
Points to the diet. “What’s that?”
“It’s a diet.”
“Oh, because it looks like a rum and coke.”
“Actually, it’s just a diet. Do you want that?
“Ew, NO! I can’t drink diet. Yuck. I want a rum and coke. You don’t have one?”
“No, but I can bring you one when I come back…”
“Oh, no way. You’ll never come back. I can’t wait that long anyway.”
Thanks for the faith, people!
Then there’s the “I NEED a water, I have to take a pill” which usually means, “Because I NEED it, I don’t have to tip you.” Okay, fine, here’s your water. But people have also “needed” a “coke to take a pill,” or a “rum and coke to take a pill.” Uh, no. Try again. Here’s your water.
I understand that in a casino setting, people are losing and feel that they deserve a free drink. Sure thing, I understand that. Of course, being rude to the server and then stiffing him or her is never acceptable, even if you’ve just lost your shirt.
I know I sound bitter. LOL. We’ve got a lot of great customers, but as far as pet peeves go…this is RIGHT up there, this topic. I can’t stand being verbally slapped in the face. Do whatever you want, but PLEASE don’t disrespect the server! 🙁
“Oh, there’s no price on this one…it must be free!”
and bookstore people know the joys of a customer who doesn’t know the name, title or subject of a particular book, but desperately needs it NOW.
A nice one from the retail sector:
“I can get this so much cheaper in France.”
Also applies to Italy and Spain. Ok, buy a plane ticket there and fill up your suitcase!
Even better: “I got this for half the price in France eight years ago!”
Those cliche-type comments that you talk about are a funny thing. Some people can definitely pull them off better than others. It seems like there are those who act like they are the first person to ever ask if you managed to get any paint on the house, while others deliver that line with tongue planted firmly in cheek and can make it seem funny and even loveable.
As a side note, we painted the outside of our house last summer, and asking whether the kids got any paint on the house versus on themselves, the sidewalk, or the pets was a legitimate question.
I forgot one, “Workin’ hard or hardly workin’?” Sometimes I would just turn around and glare at those people…
I’m sure a lot of servers and bartenders out there above a certain age bracket are quite tired of the question “So, what else do you do?” This question has always gotten a rile out of me and depending on the relationship I have established with the guest, my answer can vary from polite to sarcastic. One answer that seems have worked over the years is “This is my full time job, how many jobs do you have/what else do you do?” Or, I also like to say “I’m writing a book on the service industry, I’m undercover”. 😉
I am a server and have been for a number of years. It never ceases to amaze me how dumb people think I am.
Scenario: Table set for 4 quests. Only 2 are there. Can I get you a drink? Well, we’re waiting for 2 more. Oh really is that why there’s 2 other set ups and menus????.
So that means you don’t want anything to drink??? Well yes I’ll have water with lemon of course for now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m a graphic designer, and because art is subjective, I have had to deal with creative critics and designer wannabe clients. The best skill a designer can possess is to listen carefully and then sell the design strategy back to the client. Nine out of ten times this works. But you do get the occasional horror show that micromanages every aspect of a design. One of the worst I have encountered was also the most passive-aggressive person I’ve ever met. But I digress. At one particular meeting, as I was finishing my ‘sell’ he said, “But that’s just your opinion.” How do you respond to such a ridiculous and insulting comment? I said, as politely as possible, “Yes, it’s my EDUCATED opinion.” The bottom line is that it was his company and his money, so all I could do was give my best advice and accept the outcome. However, in my ‘what I wish I could’ve said’ moments, this is my response: “Let me ask you something: If a doctor told you to quit smoking or you would surely have a stroke, and you then went to a non-doctor friend and asked if he thought you would have a stroke and the friend said, ‘keep smoking–you won’t have a stroke’, whose advice would you heed? They both have an opinion, but one of them will kill you in the end.” Boy, that felt good!
So I’ve got a huge tray piled with a million things and as I carefully make my way through the crowded restaurant, the inevitable question… “Got a match?” Yeah, it’s been non-smoking for years, and I’m betting it’s not someone’s birthday! Grrrr!
This is funny, because in the kitchen, when I am expediting, I am the worst and everybody hates it. The funny part is, my first chef used to do it to me and I hated it then, now I do it to my cooks.
No matter how busy we are, or how pissed off I am, even if these orders are back to back, the joke always works.
“Tienes pinocha?”. This means, do you have spinach. However, in Spanish it translates to, do you have female genitals.
“You got 2 butts, 3 ass, 1 Mr. Mr, all on fire”. This translates to 2 halibuts, 3 bass, and 1 medium rare tenderloin.
“Make a dang quesadilla”. This is when someone orders a quesadilla, it is a reference to Napoleon Dynamite.
“New York”. Done in a sing-songy Frank Sinatra way when someone orders a New York Strip.
“Can you get me the raspberry peeler?”
“Can you get me the spaghetti stretcher?”
“Can you do ice cube inventory for me, but be careful, they will melt and you might forget how many you had”
These are all questions for the newbies in the kitchen.
Or the old kitchen joke that goes something like this, in the voice of a horse or dog race commentator, “Looks like the lettuce is ahead, the cabbage might leave, but wait….the carrots are coming up in a bunch. This is gonna be a close one!”.
These are all things that I used to despise hearing, and now inflict them on all of my cooks.
One of my favorite serving questions is the people who look at a full dessert set up and say “Is that diet?” I usually respond with, “Yep, all fat free!” Come on, it’s whipping cream and buttercream and sugar cookies! What do you think? I also work for a utility and people are always saying “If you find any gold, I get half!” Why, have you done anything except work your mouth? The best one there was the old geezer who saw me digging a hole and said,”Careful, some Mexican is going to take your job!” Thinking quickly, I pointed at my Hispanic boss and said, “He already has” We laughed at that guy for years!
We’ve recently opened a Diner/Pizza place on RT.1S, and the thing I’ve been hearing that
completely makes me want to throttle folks is “So many restaurants have come and gone here,
it must be cursed.” Really? Thanks for pissing on my decision to invest all I have on this, how clever
and thoughtful of you!
Patrick, that always used to get on my nerves as well. “Workin’ hard or hardly workin’?” I heard that so many times when I waited tables. That statement was almost always delivered with a chuckle on the part of the patron. While I know the guest was attempting to “make a funny”, and I really am a very sociable girl, I did find the statement a bit offensive. “Why, no, I have seven other covers besides yours. Of course, I’ll be here for your every whim. Your kids need crayons and drink refills? I’m right there. Your soup wasn’t hot enough? Be right back, I’ll heat that up for you. Your meal wasn’t prepared properly? I’m sorry, I’ll take it back to the kitchen for you and ask the chefs to do it over, god help me as I face their wrath. I’m not busy at all. No problem.” 😉
I’m at your service, hardly working.
Right.
Alex, that’s hilarious 🙂
As you are standing there IN UNIFORM putting something away to have someone ask “Do you work here”. I want to say no point to my ugly uniform and tell them it is a fashion statement!
Oh, let’s go with the obvious one here….my name is Ginger. I was a waitress for years, one that had to wear a BIG NAME TAG. Here’s some of the knee-slappers and my honest-to-goodness standard responses:
1) Where’s Mary Ann? (Home in bed, waiting for me)
2) Where’s Gilligan/The Skipper/Mr Howell/The Professor? (Home in bed with Mary Ann, waiting for me)
3) Where’s Fred? (I danced him to death)
4) Like the Spice Girls? (Yeah, I’m Old Spice)
5) I had a dog named Ginger (This is a compliment?! Please tell me it was a good-looking dog!)
I would beg to be able to take off my name tag on Friday nights!
Ginger- Priceless. I think you get the award for best comment, hands down. I hope you enjoyed venting as much as I enjoyed reading. Thank you.
How about the Last People In the Restaurant who for the longest time don’t even notice they are the Last People In The Restaurant and when they finally do, ask something like, “Oh my god! We’re shutting down the place! Are we keeping you??” To which you have to say, “of course not! we have a lot of cleaning up to do! Take you’re time.” And then they sit there for another half an hour. Why do they even ask? They know they are “keeping you”… is it that they are just trying to look like they care?
Ugh, some of the totally un-funny ‘amusing’ comments repliers have posted – they make me shudder. I have heard some of them, myself!
There are some businesses where I suppose a level of flirting is expected, (though from what I understand, the customers seem to go overboard even in those venues), but where I work (a court), it is not. To Mr. Flirtypants: I don’t care if you aren’t getting any from your S.O., or that you’re too ugly, or too much a criminal to get a girlfriend, but I don’t want to make up for your lack of loving. I don’t think it’s professional to play little Kissy games at the front counter, and I don’t think you’re cute, and I don’t think you’re charming, and I don’t think you’re funny.
And of course there are the customers in a restaurant who scrape their plates clean and say, “We hated it,” or, “Can you send this back to the kitchen?” (Insert feigned laughter, then rip them to shreds out back.)
I bartended on a large passenger cruise ship that did a Hawaiian island itinerary and I used to get several highly intelligent questions from people for whom intellgence and common sense had obviously drained as they walked up the gangway on embarkation day.
My favorites were….
“Do you live on board? No, Ma’am they helicopter us in for each shift, I live in Boston”
Does the ship make its own power?….No, we just run a really long extention cord to the terminal in Honolulu for power.
Umm, do you work here? No, I am standing here wearing what appears to be an embarassingly-popular combination of Aloha shirt and navy blue shorts and a bright orange hat that reads Safety across the front, an orange relective safety vest and carry in my hands a clipboard and big orange flashlight, but no i dont work here, this is just how I interpreted the runways in Paris and Milan for this seasons cruise attire…
and my personal favorite…Does this elevator go up or down?…”
I also got a lot of responses to can i help you…that were somehow misguided…
“Um yes, we seem to be out of towels/toilet paper in our cabin.” Ok, thats too bad, can I pour you a drink to help you relax while you solve this mind blowing dillemma…
“I forgot my camera at the restaurant where we had lunch.yesterday” —Ok, what was the name of the restaurant…? “I dont know”… Where was it? “I can’t remember…” OK just let me find my magic wand and I will get that right back to you…
Really? I mean come on people …I get a headache just thinking about it…
“Job opening!” shouted out when someone drops and/or breaks something in restaurant or behind a bar. It’s not funny. And you are actually just adding to someone’s frustration. Any dedicated service professional is actually concerned when they break a glass or anything in the restaurant.
One restaurant I worked at years back attracted a large sum of the “American Psycho” type financial guys with their embroidered cuffs and three piece suits. To them, we were a bunch of low-class working stiffs. I remember one day one of them screamed out “Job Opening” at my friend Russ who was bartending and had just knocked a wine glass that exploded in the ice. Painful enough when it happens, nevermind some donkey screaming at you saying “Job Opening!” Russ looked at him and said, “I probably won’t lose my job for that, but it is certainly going to be a while before I can serve you another cocktail.” Then it was funny….
More painting stories; To this day, even when I’m painting and stop at a store people say, “You must be a painter”. I usually reply with, “No, I just cam from church,” or, “You must be an idiot,” depending on my mood…
I do hair and the one I hate is when I ask how do you want your haircut, they say “short”. Duh! I say “a mohawk is short”. Or they say “cut out all the grey”. Hahaha. We only hear that 20 times a day!
Why do guests feel the need to mime? I’m a bartender at a busy Back Bay restaurant in Boston, and my co-bartenders and I seem to agree that the miming is probably the most obnoxious thing guests do on a regular basis.
“can i have a MENU?” ***opening and closing hands like a book to represent menu***
mouths “PEPPER” ***turns hands in the imitation of one grinding a pepper mill”
“can i have some CHEESE?” ***mimes grating a brick of parmesan***
and the one that really gets under MY skin:
“do you have any NUTS? or SNACKS?” ***moves fingers as if picking up peanuts out of a bowl, reminiscent of a chipmunk or squirrel***
No, but we have a lovely bar MENU that you can order from and PAY for =)
I always learned that it was a good thing not to piss off anybody who will handle what you are consuming before you do so. When asked if I can do a Frozen, Layered, and Virgin anything, my response is usually “This is a dive bar, NOT an ice cream parlor!” Whomever came up with a Miami Vice should be pelted with frozen Strawberries until unconsciousness. As for the “And so what do you REALLY do?” I reply that I’m actually a paid assassin in my spare time. Same response for All of the barrage of personal, invasive questions. Yeaah, No.
I worked at a lottery kiosk. I heard the same stupid one-liners over and over. I’ve forgotten most of them now (maybe I was so traumatized by the whole experience that I’ve blocked it now) but one of them was when a customer was buying only one ticket after being behind someone in line who was throwing away vast sums of money: “It only takes one to win, hahaha!!!”
And at one time I had to wear a button advertising a new lottery called the Pick. The button said in huge letters, “ASK ME” and then in smaller letters, “how to play the Pick.” This old fellow who was always trying to be funny with crude comments said, “Gee, I wish when I was a young man, that girls had worn buttons that said, Ask Me.” Sigh. Very funny.
Loved also the customers who, instead of asking, “Could I have a Lotto 6/49 ticket please?” would just appear and bark, “6/49.” I always wanted to reply, “What about it?”
And in my retail days, if I was standing near a cash register but not actually operating it at that moment (perhaps stocking shelves or something), customers would ask, “Are you working?” Oh, no actually, I am just here in an ugly polyester uniform for the sheer joy of it. Why do you ask?
While Working at a deli I often had to wash the windows. Even as a manager I would do it because the look of the place was my responsibility. Every time someone would come by and ask me to do the windows at their house next I would ask, “cool how much do you pay? I make 15 an hour with benefits here but I’m open to offers.” Always shut them up quick.
I worked in a lab at a local hospital. Early in the mornings I had to make my rounds to draw blood from the patients. Invariably, either the nurses, doctors or patients would say, “Here comes the vampire. So I got some vampire teeth and whenever the comment would come up, I’d give a big smile. They loved it! Then the pathologist who was my boss, told me, “Don’t do that. It’s unprofessional.” OK. *sigh* so I had to go back to the comments, and secretly seething with rage. Those people got a little extra jab of the needle.