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A Tribute & Toast to Boston Food Blogger, Carolyn A. Grantham-“LimeyG”

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Human-to-Human Service

Posted: 04/13/2014

Carolyn Grantham’s life was celebrated today at Story Chapel in Cambridge, MA by her family and friends with elegance, class, dignity, humility, humor and champagne. Based on Carolyn’s final wishes, I’m sure she would have enthusiastically approved of the champagne corks popping in the chapel.

Carolyn has been blogging about food (“Writing About Eating”) since the fall of 2006. I’ve followed her journey on and off since then, occasionally exchanging emails and comments about blogging, food, and restaurants. The journey on “LimeyG’s” blog includes trips to Spain, England, Puerto Rico, Aruba, Montreal, San Francisco, Texas, Florida, and yes, the Big E in Springfield, MA. Her food adventures cover everything from humble street foods like Australian meat pies, to foie gras at Au Pied de Cochon.

LimeyG, September 5, 2009 [describing cromesquis de foie gras at Cochon]:

They look innocent enough, … But here’s the deal: They’re cubes of foie gras, breaded and deep-fried. The breading becomes an impermeable shell and the inside turns to liquid.

To eat, you put the whole thing in your mouth, close your lips, and bite. And suddenly it’s as though the entire inside of your head is bathed in warm, soft, rich, deep, soothing liquid.

It actually, literally, seriously brought tears to my eyes.

On January 16, 2011, Carolyn announced on her blog that she had been diagnosed with cancer:

Got some interesting news this week: I have squamous cell carcinoma in my mouth. It’s very treatable and has a high cure rate, which is good. The bad, of course, is that treatment is aggressive and sucky: two or three rounds of intense chemo, followed by seven weeks of radiation.

So what do I have to look forward to? Loss of appetite, changes in my palate, zapped tastebuds, zapped salivary glands, a raw tongue and throat.

Yes, there are a ton of other side effects, but whatever. These are the ones that bug me the most; what will life be like if I can’t enjoy food?

Carolyn’s new journey, including hospital food, medical treatments, and her relationship with her husband, Diego, was chronicled in a poignant Boston Globe piece by Bella English on March 11th 2014. In a very humbling, moving and inspirational piece, Carolyn shared several experiences with Bella about the new challenges she faced with eating, especially in restaurants:

Kate Grams is the nurse practitioner who has been with Grantham since her diagnosis. Her admiration for the couple is deep. “She has suffered horribly, been in incredible pain, disfigured, can’t go out, and can’t eat, which is one of her great joys,” says Grams. “But she has kept an amazing outlook and been game for any therapy and any kind of torture we would dish out.”

…As long as she could sip through a straw, she would take her food that way. “Food is important to me,” she explains. “It’s part of who I am. I didn’t want to lose that bit of independence, that control.”

…She was having to puree her food into liquid form, and when she went to restaurants, asked chefs to do the same.

Some restaurants were very accommodating, and others were not so kind when she requested that they prepare a dish exactly as they normally would, and then throw it in the blender. Carolyn had one nightmare restaurant encounter that brought her to tears when a chef abruptly said no. According to Bella, Carolyn wrote that her experience should serve as a guide to other chefs, “Sometimes a diner will need a little extra accommodation. Please don’t be offended if we need to crush your delicious, carefully created vision. We’re just hungry.”-LimeyG

We’re just hungry.

That quote ripped through me. Eating is such a simple pleasure that so many of us take for granted. A significant focus of my project includes making suggestions about how and why customers should demonstrate empathy and compassion for service industry workers. Thank you to Carolyn for graciously reminding us that mutual respect is a two-way street, and that hospitality includes trying to understand where unique requests are coming from (and saying yes) before judging and/or saying no.

On February 19th, Carolyn tweeted, “Guess I’m beyond the help of modern medicine,” and linked to her blog post, End of the line that included some moments of great joy, accomplishment and fulfillment in her life. I recommend that you read her full blog post.

On February 22nd she demonstrated that her delightfully irreverent sense of humor was still intact when she tweeted, “Spent the morning sorting clothes to give to charity. Now I have to hope I don’t need any clothes.”

A few days after Carolyn passed away, her friends on Chowhound and Facebook noted a message from Carolyn delivered via her husband, Diego:

Carolyn left instructions I now quote verbatim: “In lieu of flowers, Carolyn has asked that you have an excellent glass of champagne; tell your family how much you love them; buy yourself a book you’ve been meaning to read; do one nice, small thing for a stranger.”

To Carolyn.

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