Server Not Servant

Back In The Fray

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Human-to-Human Service

Posted: 8/16/2011

I am currently back in the line of fire as co-owner and operator of Native Cape Cod Seafood, a take-out seafood concession and raw bar in Provincetown, MA. My long-time friend, Andrew Morgan and I started the business from scratch after an opportunity suddenly presented itself in the spring. We built and opened the business by cramming what should have been several months of work into 4 short, tumultuous, anxious weeks without much sleep. More about opening the business will follow in later posts.

My days currently consist of arriving at the seafood shack before 8 AM, to manage the day-to-day operations of the business. That includes scheduling employees, cutting lemons, taking in deliveries, setting-up, banking, making our housemade tartar sauce, minimizing the internal and external drama, bussing tables, bookkeeping, working the counter, putting out fires, shucking oysters, cleaning, closing, and leaving the shop by 10:30pm 7 days a week. As with any short, seasonal business, there’s a time to go hard and a time to go home. August is the Superbowl (especially Carnival Week) for merchants in Provincetown, and I am right in the middle of the fray.

Thank you for your patience between posts. As I have often stated, this blog and my forthcoming book are intended to facilitate a conversation that fosters greater empathy, awareness and mutual respect not only between customers and service industry workers, but also within our communities where we live and work.

So get ready, because ServerNotServant is about to get up-close and very personal, very fast, with rich material from the front lines of my current project. The posts that follow will be spontaneous from the service side of the counter of Native Cape Cod Seafood.

Come by and say hello if you make it to Provincetown before Columbus Day. If not, please join the conversations that follow, and check out our business on Facebook.   

Thank you.

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Another Inconvenient Truth

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Human-to-Human Service

Posted: 5/10/2011

Today’s post comes courtesy of Jan Tessier, a loyal reader of ServerNotServant. Jan’s provocative email caught my attention in a big way, and we had quite a chat about her life in the service industry. Jan’s first job was de-tassling corn for $1.50/hour. Since then she has been a waitress, busser, cook, cabbie, data entry worker, office worker, security officer, bartender, home care provider and a university employee.

I am grateful to Jan for sharing her story with our readers.

Jan pointed out that thousands upon thousands of people work in convenience stores across America and around the world. Most of them take these ‘low-wage’, ‘dead-end’ jobs because they are:

• young and inexperienced.
• older and often unable to find work anywhere else.
• unskilled and undereducated.

Benefits, if there are any, are meager. Company-provided insurance often costs 1/4 to 1/3 of a convenience store employee’s annual gross. Most of these corporations don’t allow employees to eat or drink anything for free, or even at a discount. Raises are hard to come by. After working for a full year, Jan received a  stingy twenty cent increase and learned that the thirty cents increase, is reserved for  “outstanding” workers who garner the approval of the district manager!

For that little money, convenience store employees are some of the hardest working people in the country. In addition to manning the cash register, their duties include:

• Attending to coffee and vending machines.
• Stocking shelves and freezers.
• Cleaning floors, counters, parking lots, and bathrooms.
• Lugging heavy trash bags and recyclables to the dumpsters.
• Updating inventory, deliveries and sales.
• Maintaining a welcoming presence at the counter and on the floor.
• Up-selling special counter items to meet monthly quotas on junk food, gadgetry and store cards, a clever scam to track customers’ information and spending habits.

On any given day, Jan arrives at 2pm for the second shift. After clocking in, she records lottery numbers and counts the drawer as a line of customers quickly forms.  She contends with customers so busily talking on their cell phones that they can’t tell her if their order is complete, if they are paying with cash or a card, or what pump they will be using for their gas. 

While the whole idea of a convenience store is service for people in a hurry, CSR’s  watch helplessly as lines back up for customers who will empty their pockets, pocket books, backpacks or gym bags to dig up exact change; rather than just turn over a twenty and get change back in a flash. A recent customer instructed Jan (and the customers behind her) to wait while she dashed to her car and returned with eleven cents apparently scraped up off a dirty surface. When Jan voids out these transactions to keep the line moving, she risks a reprimand from management who frowns on voids and the ire of the dilatory customer who’s been relegated to the rear of the line.

And convenience store clerks also endure:

• Underage drinkers and smokers  in the parking lot harassing older customers to buy them cigarettes and six packs.
• Drug addicts and drunks who angrily expect credit advances because, “I’m in here all the time. You should know me.”
• Every imaginable profanity and digital gesture from unruly, boorish customers who don’t get their way.
• Cleaning up the vilest of human messes all over the store and into the bathrooms. Yes, even those messes…
• Picking up garbage, trash, paper wrappers, cans and bottle all over the parking lot courtesy of thoughtless, slovenly patrons.

Jan will be the first to tell you that for all of the misery, she’s thankful for an understanding manager and for the opportunity to serve plenty of nice, well meaning customers—a cross section of society really—who come into her store. But as all of us in service jobs know, somehow it’s the difficult customers and harsh working conditions that discourage us and shake our faith in humanity.

When it’s finally time to cash out and get ready to leave for the night, Jan will tell you that she’s one exhausted grandmother in need of two more Aleves to ease her aching back, feet, and legs. She drives home exhausted, stressed and often in tears. And, she does not think she’s alone. Several conversations with fellow workers have confirmed that Jan’s inconvenient truths are pervasive within her industry.

Of course, Jan Tessier is not alone in her concern for the rampant incivility directed at working class people. 

So readers, what do you think?

Any other convenience store workers care to share their experiences?

Convenience store customers;  What do you see in your fellow customers or in the employees who work there?

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“I’m From New York.”

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Personal Pet Peeves

Posted: 5/3/2011

All hail.

I worked a raw bar at an event we catered in New Hampshire a few weeks ago and I could hear Mr. NYC before I could see him. He was the loud guy whose bellicose comments and bravado distinguished him amid the large crowd in front of me. When he made his way to the bar, he barked, Where are these things from?, while rocking side-to side and pointing to the oysters with his hand in the formation of a pistol.

Pleasant Bay in Chatham on Cape Cod. They were harvested yesterday, I replied.

Mr. NYC: I’m from New York City, and we get oysters from all over the world…

Congratulations, sir.

I wonder if anyone has ever told these people what they sound like.

The I’m from New York (or any urban locale) comment is often inserted into a conversation, followed by a pause, as if to say, There is nothing left for me to learn or experience ever again.

I was talking with the owner of a great pizza shop on Cape Cod a few weeks ago and we started discussing the premise of this blog post. After I told him the title he replied; Ah, yes. The Mecca, The Holy Land… (Several New Yorkers have actually conceded to loving his pizza.)

It can be argued that NYC is one of the greatest cities in the world. (Just ask the producers of the LATE SHOW with David Letterman.) I personally love visiting NYC. I’ll spare you the requisite, I have friends from NY line, but I will invite Merf Rosner, Johnny Croce and others to weigh in.

Is it the greatest city? Is any city? It depends on what you’re looking for.

Most stereotypes about groups of people are perpetuated by a handful of individuals who take things to an extreme. I’m sure lots of really cool New Yorkers cringe when they witness their brethren drop the ‘NY bomb’, or embellish their affiliation by designating themselves New Yorkers, despite having spent only a few years in or near the big city.

This post was suggested and inspired by Courtney, a New York native and veteran restaurant industry worker who currently works outside of The Empire State in a highly-acclaimed restaurant. Courtney has encountered numerous customers who have dropped the ‘NY bomb’ expecting shock, awe and adulation. Her response of, Me too, what neighborhood?, often leaves her guests a little disappointed that she isn’t from some rural outpost in the sticks.

My dear friend, Katt Tang, has a knack for making sure her customers enjoy a few laughs to go along with the food and drinks she serves. When a Mr. or Mrs. NYC-type drops, I’m from New York, on her, if she thinks they can handle it, she wryly inserts, I know. 

Touché, Katt.

Servers: Have you experienced the “I’m from New York” crowd?

True New Yorkers: Have you ever been embarrassed by your boasting brethren or NYC imposters?

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No One Is Exempt

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Human-to-Human Service

Posted: 4/17/2011

“In the face of fear they were only concerned about others.”

That’s the quote I remember most after bartending at a recent fundraiser for Japan Relief. It came from an American schoolteacher working in Japan when the earthquake struck. Within seconds, her life changed forever, along with the lives of everyone around her as Mother Nature once again reminded us of our vulnerability. 

People often ask me why the people I discuss on the blog, the ones who exemplify Human-to-Human Service, civility and empathy, act the way they do. My hunch is that people who have experienced adversity or tragedy tend to be more aware, empathetic, kind and patient. They have come to realize that our time on earth is short, that we are all a phone call, an accident, a diagnosis or a natural disaster away from devastation. It’s not always the ‘other guy’.

Jodie Gilson from Groton, MA knows about the power of Mother Nature and the awesome kindness of friends and strangers alike. The owner of  J. Gilson Greenhouses, a wholesale grower and supplier of herbs and flowers, Jodie’s greehouses and business collapsed under the weight of the heavy snows of the infamous winter of 2011. A few weeks ago, the close-knit Boston restaurant community, led by Jodie’s son Will, rallied and raised more than 35K to help Jodie rebuild her business. I’ve invited Jodie to share her experience in the comments following this post.

Last Sunday, I worked at a reception celebrating the life of James C. Haddock 75, from Dublin, NH, who died after falling down the stairs in his home. According to the SentinelSource.com Mr. Haddock was a disability social worker and advocate for the developmentally disabled, a cause that would define his life. He was “engaged in a lifelong fight for equality for all.” What a wonderful and important legacy.

I’m not a fatalist, more a jaded optimist, but I think it’s important to remind each other from time to time that we’re not here forever, and all that matters is how we treat each other every day. We’ll all be better of as soon as we realize that the ‘other guy’ is ‘us’, and no one is exempt.

I had the pleasure of meeting Ken Kornelson, a 35-year veteran restaurant server, a few weeks ago. After chatting about customers and service for a bit, Ken left me with a refrain used often by those who serve, “Kindness is free.”

Amen, brother. Amen. 

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Phantom Gourmet: Jackasses 3

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Human-to-Human Service

Posted: 3/14/2011

This post is long overdue.

On Friday, 2/25 I published a blog post including an open letter to Mike and Dan Andelman, co-owners of Phantom Gourmet, Inc., calling for a public apology for the inappropriate, sexist and deplorable comments they made on their radio show on 2/12.

For those of you who are unaware of the comments, Mike Andelman disparaged a restaurant hostess, calling her dumb, moronic and a monkey after she denied his request to be seated before the dining room opened. Mike also denigrated hostesses as incompetents who can’t do anything else in life. (The audio clip from the program can be found here.)

Dan Andelman asked Mike how the hostess looked from the back, and made other inappropriate sexist comments.

On Saturday, 2/26 Mike and Dan addressed the fallout from their comments on the radio. The program on the 26^thalso marked the return of Dave Andelman who was vacationing during Mike’s encounter at the restaurant and his offensive rant on the radio. The Andelman brothers had a great opportunity to show some real class, but instead, made a mockery of the entire incident.

Some highlights and lowlights from the radio program of 2/26/11:

Dan: This is the biggest controversy that has happened in this company in a long time.

Dave goes away for 2 weeks and during that time, a, happens to be the only 2 weeks in history that a, there was a, a, a, well there was a huge controversy regarding Phantom Gourmet, this particular radio show.

Mike: There wasn’t a controversy! Danny, there was an article written about me in Names and Faces, now that is the Boston Globe’s Inside Track.

Dan: You said some remarks that were reported in the Globe.

Mike: This was not on the I-Team, ok. Joe Bergantino is not knocking on my door.

[Joe Bergantino left the I-Team in 2008…]

Dan: The Globe has never talked about us ever in 4 years. A, Dave goes away for 1 week, a, where, you know, the boss is away so Michael decides to play and Mike goes on a little bit of a rant, it catches fire, it catches the attention of Mark Shanahan and Meredith Goldstein of the Globe and they write it up. Now Dave, you still have not heard the clip?

Dave: I have not heard the audio source…

Mike: You have not read the Pelican Brief? That’s what they’re calling it out there in the foodie community.

Dave: [Before listening to the audio.] Let me just preface this by saying I am seriously surprised that anything we would say on this show would be worthy of news in the Boston Globe. Honestly, who cares?

Dan starts to read the Globe article.

Mike: Facetious is not in quotes. I don’t even know what that means… I called David and I said, listen, give me a good word that means like jackass, always kidding around. He goes, satirical, and I’m like crap, I can’t use that in a sentence…

Dan prepares to play audio of 2/12 radio show.

Mike: Before we go to the tape Danny, can I just say 1 more thing? The reason this came out in the Globe is because Grill 23, which has to be one of the highest-grossing restaurants in the country…

Dan: Great place. Big business.

Dave: Prints money.

Mike: …they [Grill 23] decided to issue a statement against what I said on this radio show, even though they didn’t hear it. They had seen a transcript of it.

[That statement is patently false. Grill 23 management did hear the audio of the 2/12 segment that was posted on the 96.9 website, then later taken down after my blog post.] 

Dave: Our family probably has collectively spent, I don’t know, 10k there over the course of the years. We’ve covered it on the show 100 times saying it’s a great place to go.

Dan: It is a great place.

Dave: Now I am a fan of Grill 23 and I think it is, honest to God, I think it is funny that they issued a statement like it was a politician that was doing crazy bad things. [To this point, Dave has still not heard the tape.]

Mike: (Reading statement from Boston Globe made by Grill 23 owners.) “Himmel Hospitality is shocked and saddened at the personal attack that has been made on an employee in such a public manner.”

I disagree with that [with what, Mike?], and respectfully, since they couldn’t figure out which employee it was. I was going to apologize, but they don’t know who it is.

Dan plays a portion of the clip of the 2/12 show when he asked how the hostess looked from behind.

(Tape is paused)

Dan: I apologize for my rude, insensitive comment about her back. [To Dan’s credit, he did sound sincere.]

Audio continues:

Mike: Danny, the fact that you consistently take the side of the restaurateur or just a really stupid maître d’  or a hostess over your family time and time again…

If the owner of Grill 23 was standing next to this dumb hostess, this moronic hostess who was just getting her, uh, jollies off by sticking to the rules of her little brochure in a little binder…This little monkey, her only job is to look at this binder and say don’t let people in ‘til 5:30.

Dan (to Dave, CEO and spokesperson): Do you think this was so controversial that it should have been in the Boston Globe? Are you offended by what Mike had to say?

Dave: [No acknowledgement of Mike’s ‘dumb’, ‘moron’ and ‘monkey’ comments.] I don’t even think it’s interesting enough for us to be replaying it on our own show. [3 brothers laughing hysterically] I’m waiting for the bomb to drop. That was it? That’s what you had to bother me for in Aruba and all week?

Therein lies the problem. By virtue of ignoring the offensive comments, and supporting his brothers, Dave now joins Mike and Dan in thinking it’s ok to make and defend disingenuous, odious remarks. So much for older and wiser…

Dan: Michael, now that we’ve heard it, do you have something to say to New England? 

Michael: I do. Number one, um, I, if I do find out who the hostess is at Grill 23, and the Boston Globe says they’re not sure who it is, ok, I’ve talked with my wife, um, I want to ask the hostess on a date. I have a hall pass if she would like to go out with me. I will take her out for dinner, for dancing…

I don’t know Danny, you are always the ombudsman of this program. Dad said something about winos, you talked about her [hostess] wearing yoga pants and I called her a moronic hostess. You tell me Danny, you’ve got the final word.

Dan: Frankly, not even in the top hundred offensive or amusing segments we’ve ever done.

Now that’s frightening. I wonder who else they have offended.

Dave: No, there’s nothing even remotely interesting about it.

Dave: They [The Globe] do sort of try to claim there’s a massive online controversy. That’s just not factually accurate. There’s like 4 guys talking to each other online, I mean that’s ridiculous.

Talk about clueless.

Dave-Click here and read all the links imbedded in the post. Tens of thousands of people have read and talked about the inappropriate, derogatory and misogynist comments made by Mike and Dan, and now they’ll be talking about your defending them.

Mike: I do apologize when I said all hostesses are moronic and stupid, and I do 100% apologize. I’m not including the average-looking ones who do a very good job. [Dan laughs hysterically.] I am only talking about the hot ones who have no idea…

Nice job making a mockery of an opportunity to do the right thing. Suffering through another 3 hours of Andelman antics on the radio confirmed how ignorant and crass they really are.

Here is Mike’s original quote from 2/12 that he was referencing:

There’s not a hostess who’s not good looking because they’re incompetent and can’t do anything else in life. If you can’t model, when you’re good looking enough and not tall enough to model, you stand behind a little box and say, “How many?”

One hour into the 2/26 program I received the following email from Heidi Raphael, VP Corporate Communications of Greater Media, Inc., the parent company of WTKK-FM where Phantom Gourmet airs. Despite its brevity, the message says it all.

“Greater Media has a great deal of respect for service industry workers and does not endorse or support the recent statements made by the Andelmans during their paid programming show on WTKK. We do not speak for them, nor do they speak for us.”

None of the hundreds of current and former restaurant industry workers who contacted me over the last few weeks is buying Mike’s childish, I was just kidding, I’m just a jackass defense. Everyone remotely involved with the restaurant community, with any credibility, understands exactly what the Andelmans are all about. Introspection and decency are lost on them. Their long-standing reputation for crassness and classless behavior has been bolstered by this incident.

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