Server Not Servant

“If you don’t like serving, get another job.”

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Introduction

Posted: 8/11/2010

There should be no doubt about the need to raise awareness about the need for mutual respect and common courtesy between service industry workers and their customers. In fact, all human beings could use a reminder about civility. If you’re skeptical at all, read the comments posted in response to all of the stories about Steven Slater, the JetBlue flight attendant who dramatically left work and the plane following an altercation with a passenger. The vitriol on both sides of the discussion is unsettling.

As of this post, there are 133,700 people who ‘like’ Steven Slater’s facebook page, and 169 discussions with hundreds of comments. I started my own discussion on Steven’s page to respond to some of those comments:

Title: “If You Don’t Like Serving, Get Another Job.”

I’ve read every thread on these discussion boards. Every time a discussion surfaces about the relationship between customer service industry workers and customers, someone is quick to say, Tough luck, it goes with the territory. Suck it up. All jobs suck in some way…, or something similar. There’s a common misconception that service industry workers are looking for pity or special treatment from customers. In a lot of cases, that notion is dead wrong.

I’ve been researching this topic for several years, and what gets lost in the discussion is that most workers, especially thoughtful professional servers, are just looking for decency from customers–No special treatment, just a little mutual respect and common courtesy. It’s really not asking too much.

Nineteen percent of all customers are either impolite, disrespectful or downright rude according to the 200 current and former service industry workers who completed my questionnaire. In a lot of cases workers do ‘suck it up’ and say nothing because they can’t for fear of retribution, including termination. They deal with abrasive, surly, nasty, insecure control freaks every shift, and they tolerate a lot more than any human being should.

Because of the antiquated adage about ‘the customer being always right’, the pendulum has swung too far, and several customers have an entitled, ‘I pay you, I own you’ mentality, and are abusive to anyone serving them. It’s time to push back as individuals and as a society and say, No more.

Steven’s actions have already created a dialogue and raised awareness by igniting a media firestorm. I hope a lot of thoughtful conversations result in more people thinking about what ‘walking a mile’ in a server’s shoes is really like, and that we start to treat each other the way that we would like to be treated. It’s not that hard.

Good luck, Steven. Sincerely-Patrick Maguire Boston, MA 

PS- I’m very interested to hear from anyone who has been on a plane since Steven Slater’s encounter and theatrical departure. Did you sense that passengers were any more aware of their interactions with the flight crew and each other? Thank you.

Permalink | Posted in Introduction | 8 Comments »

Share this post

My New Folk Hero

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Customer Hall of Shame

Posted: 8/9/2010

This is classic. Think of the number of times you would have loved to escape from horrific customers through a trapdoor or an inflatable chute. I can’t wait to hear the rest of the story. I’d love to hear first-hand accounts from passengers or other crew members. Even if this guy gets fired, for now, he’s my new hero and I need to interview him.

Article from the Wall Street Journal, 8/9/10:

Flight Attendant Pops Emergency Chute, Escapes Plane at JFK

By Sean Gardiner

An upset flight attendant at John F. Kennedy Airport activated his plane’s emergency chute, slid down then made his way to his car and drove home, according to an airport official.

JetBlue Flight 1052 from Pittsburgh was taxing to a stop at Terminal 5, Gate C around noon Monday when a passenger got up from his seat before the plane’s pilot deemed it safe to do so. The man was trying to remove his baggage from one of the plane’s overhead compartments when the flight attendant confronted the man and asked him to return to his seat, the official said. The passenger and the male flight attendant exchanged heated words. For reasons that are so far unclear, the flight attendant then activated the inflatable emergency slide, went down the chute and ran into the terminal, the official said.

The attendant then took a shuttle bus to the long-term parking area at JFK, retrieved his car and drove home, the official said.

Police picked the flight attendant up at his home Monday afternoon and brought him to the Port Authority Police station at the airport for questioning. (No word on whether the flight attendant was one of the many former NYPD officers in jetBlue’s employ.)

“At this time, we are working with the FAA (Federal Aviation Administration) and the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey to investigate this incident. At no time was the security or safety of our customers or crewmembers at risk,” said Steve Stampley, a JetBlue Airways spokesman.

Update from the Wall Street Journal: The Flight Attendant grabbed 2 beers from the galley before heading down the slide. Smart man.

8/10/10 update from the New York Times.

8/10/10 update from the Daily News.

Please forward this link and join the Server Not Servant Facebook Group.

Permalink | Posted in Customer Hall of Shame | 4 Comments »

Share this post

Fully Committed

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Human-to-Human Service

Posted: 8/3/2010

After recently watching Fully Committed , a one-man performance starring Gabriel Kuttner, I reflected on times I’ve seen customers behave like children when they didn’t get what they wanted. I recalled a sleazy guy from NY attempting to coax a Royal Caribbean Cruise Concierge into giving his group a specific dinner table for the entire cruise, despite the fact that he had neglected to make reservations by the stated deadline. After the concierge said “No” several times, explaining that the table was promised to another guest, Mr. NY actually said, I hear Royal Caribbean is a ‘can do’ cruise line. Well I’m a ‘can do’ kinda guy. Let’s make this work, big guy. Some people have no shame and no clue… (He didn’t get the table.)

Fully Committed is a very captivating, funny show. The play features Kuttner (Sam), a struggling actor, answering the phones in a dingy, makeshift, basement office at a very chic Manhattan restaurant. Sam contends with  juggling the throng of demanding, snobby, and manipulative callers vying for tables. Here are a few excerpts from a recent Boston Globe review by Christopher Muther:

Is there a job that is less rewarding or appealing than being tethered to a telephone, juggling reservations for the entitled at a sizzling-hot four-star Manhattan eatery?… The classism, social jockeying, bullying, petty threats, and downright harassment faced by reservations clerk Sam Peliczowski in Becky Mode’s comedy “Fully Committed’’ would push even the strongest man to look more fondly at a career with the bomb squad…

…Kuttner plays 37 characters for this one-man show. With few pauses, he deliciously sends up these broadly drawn stereotypes of Manhattan’s elite, as well as those who want nothing more than to rub elbows with them.

There’s a cathartic and poignant moment at the end of the show when Sam realizes that conviction, combined with respect and decency, trump condescension, arrogance and elitism. Sam is an easy guy to root for. If you’re a fan of the underdog, you’ll love this show.

The show is performed at a cool outdoor amphitheatre on the banks of the Charles River in Brighton, MA. Please check out the website for Fully Committed, and enjoy the show if you are in the Boston area.

If you currently work in a customer service capacity, or have ever worked in a job serving customers, have you ever been unable to deliver exactly what someone wanted (you were Fully Committed) and had a customer snap or act innappropriately? How did you handle it?

Please share your thoughts. Thank you.

Permalink | Posted in Human-to-Human Service | 6 Comments »

Share this post

Regular or Irregular?

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Customer Hall of Fame

Posted: 7/27/2010

Restaurant workers are a unique breed. Cagey veterans are durable, resourceful and irreverently funny. They’ve seen and heard it all. They put their game face on and deliver great hospitality shift after shift, double after double, week after week. Despite their resiliency, it’s hard to always be the life of the party when they’re running on fumes, the laundry and errands are piling up at home, and funds are tight. The daily grind takes its toll on even the most seasoned servers.

A good friend of mine was working a double last week on an outside patio during the heat wave in Boston. When I touched her back and kissed her cheek to say hello she was sweating so much that she was clammy. The air conditioning was so ineffective at the restaurant that she spent her forty-five minute break in her car with the AC cranking. Despite her predicament, she was still joking and smiling—a true professional.

I’ve been working with and talking to restaurant workers for more than twenty eight years, and one thing that keeps them going, along with their sense of humor, is their good, repeat customers. Regulars can be lifesavers, or be the bane of a server’s existence.

Frequent flyer credits don’t guarantee you good regular status in a restaurant. Many repeat customers are loathed by the staff. The very sight of them evokes a visceral reaction nearly impossible to disguise. I’ve heard several of these gems bragging to their friends about what a “regular” they were, while the staff ridicules and curses them. A lot of bad regulars are clueless.

So what separates a good regular from an irregular?

I used to frequent a Boston restaurant so often that the GM put my name into the Micros computer system under “Maintenance” as a joke, and told me that he had punched the time clock for me if I was running late. (Hopefully I wasn’t high maintenance.) An extremely eccentric woman, with darting eyes, also frequented the same restaurant. She always sat alone with her book at the bar and rarely said a word to anyone. Without fail, if you sat close to her, she would lift her head from her book, stare into your eyes, and lean in to listen to your conversation, never looking away—very awkward and creepy. Naturally the staff dubbed her, “The Listener.” (All restaurant regulars have nicknames.)

At another restaurant I frequented, a very loquacious, clinging regular was notorious for sidling up to customers at the bar, befriending them, convincing them to let her try a bite of their food, and then eating a good portion of it. She was a mooch, and I was often a victim until I caught on to her ruse. I distinctly remember her saying, I love this place. Everyone shares their food. I bit my tongue, but wanted to reply, No they don’t, you steal it!

Kat, a reader and commenter on this blog writes, Regulars, the kind that make you smile when you see them sit in your section, who remember your name, just like you remember theirs, who take an interest in you as a human being, not just the purveyor of sustenance, are absolutely the best. The ones that have cared enough to ask for my name (I don’t generally volunteer it) and to remember it, who notice that I love my job and genuinely appreciate the way in which I do it, those people are the reason I go to work. These stupendous customers are probably about 20% of the total, just like the truly difficult ones, but they make it so much easier to deal with the other 80% and are always a great reminder of the reasons I’m in the service industry.

Serving fellow human beings food and drink is an intimate and personal experience. Great hospitality is a two-way street. If you frequent a restaurant, it is incumbent upon you to know if you’re a good regular or just a regular pain in the ass. Let’s open the discussion up to restaurant industry experts, and every other service industry worker to clarify the difference.

Please describe your favorite regulars. What do they say and do that makes them enjoyable to serve? What sets them apart from other guests?

Please describe the irregulars that make you cringe when they walk through the door. What makes them so difficult? Do they try to use their frequent flyer status to curry favor? Do you think they have any clue that they’re a royal pain in the ass? How do you and your co-workers deal with them? What are their nicknames and why? What would you tell them if you could?

Please forward this post to anyone who might want to join the conversation. Thank you.

Permalink | Posted in Customer Hall of Fame, Customer Hall of Shame | 12 Comments »

Share this post

Rearranging the Furniture

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Customer Hall of Shame

Posted: 7/17/2010

I was in a casual sandwich shop/bakery last week and witnessed another one of the “19%” of impolite, disrespectful or downright rude customers that we have identified and quantified thus far. Some days it seems like the number is a lot higher than 19%.

The joint is a Starbucks wannabe, casual place where people hang out at the counter facing the street on their laptops and electronic devices. I always sit at the diner-like counter, but there is also full table service. For some reason I see a lot of people paying their bills when I walk by, possibly waiting for their laundry to cycle through around the corner.

While I was enjoying my sandwich, a customer walked in and headed for a stool facing the street. After settling in he proceeded to unplug the light fixture that was hanging above his head, placed it on the counter and plugged his cell phone charger into the outlet overhead. He never asked permission or said a word to any of the employees.

The Chef/Manager was all over it and gently requested that he put the light back and use an unoccupied outlet. My server acknowledged my incredulous look and muttered, “You have no idea how much entitlement we deal with…” Yes, my friend, I truly do.

Almost every day of the week I am amazed. Not shocked, but still amazed at what some people think is OK.

Have you witnessed customers “rearranging the furniture” without permission? Don’t even get me started about the people with the double-wide, SUV-like, baby strollers…

Permalink | Posted in Customer Hall of Shame | 19 Comments »

Share this post