Server Not Servant

“Things are things.”

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Human-to-Human Service

Posted: 5/11/2012

“Did you lose everything?” asked the heavy-equipment operator, who has a daughter about Stecher’s age (25). His eyes filled with tears.

“Most of it, but it’s OK,” Stetcher said. “Things are things.” (Yvonne Abraham, Boston Globe-May 3, 2012)

When I contacted Gaia Stecher via Facebook she elaborated: “I know what doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger. This is not the first tragedy in my life, nor will it probably be the last. But I’m surrounded by people I love and who love me, and I’m just ready to move on. As for ‘things are things’, I know what it’s like to lose a loved one … my roommates could have died … I could have died. When you put that in perspective, things are replaceable.”

Amen, sister. How prescient, at any age…

Some stories cut to the core and are worth sharing with everyone you know. This is one of them.

Gaia Stecher is a waitress at L’Andana Restaurant in Burlington, MA. According to the Boston Globe, Gaia heard some commotion outside of her apartment door on a recent Friday morning. When she went to the door, she encountered Kathy Delaney and Tommy Proctor screaming and running through her burning three-decker apartment building in Malden, MA.

“There’s a fire, get out!” Delaney and Proctor told her.

Moments earlier, Kathy Delaney was sitting in her car arguing with her 13-year-old daughter.

From the Globe:

Her car idling outside the Mystic Valley Regional Charter School, Kathy Delaney was trying to coax her already-late daughter into class. “I’m not getting out of the car,” the girl said.

The impasse broke when Delaney, 47, spotted the smoke – gray and wind-whipped, like a barbecue gone wrong, except nobody barbecues at 8 a.m.

The physical therapist didn’t think about it. She ran toward the fire, leapt up the stairs at the back of the building. She saw flames above her, on the second-floor porch. She pounded on the white door, yelling. No one answered. She ran onto the street, shouting at a crossing guard: “Call 911!”

That’s when Tommy Proctor, driving by after one of his regular coffees with buddies, spotted Delaney. “She was telling me, ‘You gotta help me,’” he said.

Proctor, 51, saw the look on Delaney’s face. She was going in.

“I’m not sure I was really thinking,” Delaney said. “If there was anybody in there, they have to get out, like ‘The buck stops here.’ I was the one who saw it, I’ve got to do this.”

That conviction is exactly what separates leaders from bystanders. As I have stated before, too many people talk a big game, but turn away or remain silent during moments of truth.

Proctor followed her to the front of the building. They charged through the door – unlocked, mercifully. They pounded on the door to the first-floor apartment, and urged the two terrified elderly women inside to get out.

On the second floor, Gaia and her roommate, a nurse who had worked an overnight shift, were alerted next by the screaming Delaney and Proctor.

Nobody had gone up to the third floor yet, where there was a young family, new to the building. Proctor saw that determined look on Delaney’s face again. “I knew she was gonna go up,” he said. He raced up the stairs before she could try. “I got up there, and I’ll never forget the look on their faces, the couple with the 3-year-old.”

Eventually, everybody got out.

Last week, Delaney and Proctor agreed to meet at the site of the fire and tell their story to Globe reporter, Yvonne Abraham:

This was the first time they had seen each other since the fire. They hugged for a long time.

The charred house still smelled like smoke. A blue tarp covered the place where the third floor used to be. The back porches were completely gone. The two new friends described the morning, marveling at the damage, at the crazy risks they hadn’t thought about at the time, at each other’s bravery.

“I had my phone and I didn’t even think about calling 911,” Proctor said. “I thought of my family, and after that, I just followed her. She’s amazing! I’ve never met a braver woman in my life.”

“I didn’t see any fear in your face,” Delaney laughed.

Just then, a red-haired woman in track pants and flip-flops came over, holding a cup of coffee out for Delaney: It was (Gaia) Stecher, who just happened to be passing by, and spotted her saviors. She handed the coffee to Delaney, who was moved.

“Oh, please,” Stecher said. “You saved my life. It’s the least I can do.”

She gave Proctor a tight hug.

Stecher has been overwhelmed by the city’s support since the fire, she said. The deputy fire chief arranged a hotel for her. The woman who owns Aline’s cafe down the street refuses to take her money. Friends have agreed to put her up for a while.

“It’s so good to see you in good spirits,” Proctor said.

“I can’t be crying all day,” she said.

As I stated at the outset of my blog and book project,  In honor of my dear friend, Maryanne Hooley, I will be setting up a charity called Hooley’s Helpers. A portion of the proceeds from my book will fund the charity to benefit restaurant servers in times of illness, crisis and family emergencies. There’s no need to wait until the book is published to start helping people. Let’s demonstrate the power of community and do something right now.

Gaia Stecher was burned out of her apartment, and needs to find a new one. The fire and water damage claimed most of her belongings. As anyone hunting for an apartment knows, most landlords require first month, last, and a security deposit, in addition to the fees charged by brokers.

My goal is to raise $1,000 from our ServerNotServant community to help Gaia get back on her feet. There are a lot of admirable corporate non-profits that we have all contributed to, but here is an opportunity to do something very tangible and very real to help one individual in need. One hundred individuals or groups donating $10 will get us to the goal of $1,000.

ServerNotServant readers: If you can afford to contribute, please send $10 (or anything you can) to Gaia Stecher at 577 Highland Ave. Unit 3 Malden Ma 02148.

Restaurant (and service) industry brothers and sisters: Please share this story/link with all of your co-workers, and please ask if everyone can throw in a buck from one shift and send a contribution to Gaia. I’ve got to believe that collectively we can make a positive impact and help Gaia get through this. If you choose to participate, please leave the name and location of your restaurant (or shop) in the comments section below.

Yvonne Abraham & Boston Globe: Thank you for sharing this story.

Kathy Delaney and Tommy Proctor: Thank you for your leadership, inspiration and example.

Aline’s Coffee Shop and Ice Cream in Malden, MA: Thank you for your kindness.

Gaia Stecher: Thank you for your gratitude, wisdom and perspective

Gaia Stecher
577 Highland Ave. Apt. #3
Malden, MA 02148

Thank you.

6/2/2012 Update: To date the Server Not Servant community has donated $500. Please help reach the stated goal of $1,000 if you can. Thank you.

Permalink | Posted in Human-to-Human Service | 2 Comments »

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Inspiration

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Introduction

Posted: 2/14/2012

It’s an interesting proposition to be confronted with the question, What inspires you? Stephen Torres, founder of the growing website, Imbibe + Inspire, posed this question to me during a recent interview. Here are some of my answers that made it into the interview, and a few relevant inspirations that didn’t:

• Having a mission that I am deeply committed to, Server Not Servant.
• Hardworking, good people.
• The subculture and camaraderie of hardworking people.
• Human dynamics and observing humans.
• Hospitality, and everything it encompasses.
• The trust that workers have in me to share their experiences and feelings.
• Advocating for service industry workers.
• George Plimpton, participatory journalist, a.k.a., “The Paper Lion”.
• Studs Terkel, author of, Working: People Talk About What They Do All Day and How They Feel About What They Do.
• My late Dad, and his unwaivering work ethic (working 3 jobs to support a household of 12 people).
• My late Mom, her compassion, and ability to manage a household of 12 people with one bathroom…
• My loyal siblings, relatives and trusted friends.
• The late Maryanne Hooley.

Imbibe and Inspire interview.

 What inspires you?

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Law & Order @ jm Curley

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Rules of Engagement

Posted: 1/16/2012

This post is dedicated to every current and former restaurant industry worker around the world.

During a recent interview with Imbibe and Inspire, I was forced to reflect upon what inspired me to launch this blog and write a book. One of my primary responses was working people, and the subculture of workers who serve the public. Also, the camaraderie between workers, their loyalty to each other, and their trust in me when they share their stories, inspires me. Having a mission I am deeply committed to and facilitating a conversation between workers and customers inspires me immensely.

The lure of the restaurant business is a strong one. After a brief respite, following the closure of my seasonal business on Cape Cod, I’ve jumped back into the business with both feet. I am currently bartending and managing at a new downtown gin mill/restaurant in Boston, jm Curley, named after Boston’s controversial four-term Mayor. Initially, I attended a few brainstorming and tasting sessions to help out, but was quickly sucked back into the fray after interacting with the management team and staff at jm Curley. I believe in what we are doing, and I love being part of a supportive culture where people take a lot of pride in what they do and have a lot of fun doing it.

There’s a lot to be said for loving what you do and trusting and respecting the people you work with.

Law & Order is the end product of several brainstorming sessions, emails, consults, texts, sidebars and iterations that included The Golden Rule, tipping guidelines, and several other whimsical suggestions, including proposed titles of, House Rules and Curley’s Commandments. Our intention was to reflect our culture and our collective industry experience in a playful, funny (and slightly irreverent) way. As evidenced by the reactions of our customers and a current Chowhound thread, an overwhelming majority of people ‘get it’, love it, and really appreciate the intent. There have been a few detractors, but that’s no surprise, given the fact some people will always be humorless, grumpy douchebags who aren’t happy unless they’re miserable or complaining about something. You know what that say about those who can’t take a joke…

Ironically, while I was reading in the wee hours of the morning (today), I stumbled upon Matt Damon’s responses to The Proust Questionnaire in February’s Vanity Fair.

The final question to Matt, What is your motto?

Matt Damon, “Don’t be a d-bag.”

Matt, you’re welcome to join us at jm Curley anytime. Dinner and drinks are on us…

Here is Law & Order as it appears on the menu at jm Curley:

• Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s date, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor his grub, nor his cocktail, his barstool, space, nor anything that is thy neighbour’s.
• No one on our staff goes by: Hey, Yo, Sonny, Tiger, Pal, Kid, Sport, Sweetie, Honey, Pork Chop, Chief, Champ, Captain, Boss, Buddy, Babe, Barkeep, Barmaid, Big Guy, Ma’am or Missy.
• No loud shrieking, shouting, bellowing, whining, barking, nose blowing, flatulence or obnoxious cellphone use.
• No groping, grab ass, mauling, sucking face, canoodling or heavy petting.
• We welcome all comments and suggestions, but refrain from, “You should…” We know we should, but we can’t do everything and please everyone. Open your own restaurant if you know how it should be done.
• The customer is NOT always right. However, the respectful customer is always right, and the asshole customer is always wrong.
• No foul language…
• Nobody’s perfect. Please alert us immediately if your expectations are not met. Exaggerating or lying on Yelp, Chowhound, or to anyone (after you leave) who can’t fix the problem, is for yellow-bellied cowards.
• It’s food and drink, not life and death. Don’t take yourself too seriously, we don’t.
• …Just don’t be a douchebag.

http://www.jmCurleyBoston.com/

“Serving Up Neighborhood Justice”

I look forward to your comments, and please stop by and say hello when you’re in the neighborhood. Thank you.

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How to Get Better Service This Holiday Season

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Human-to-Human Service

Posted: 12/20/2011

Today’s post comes courtesy of customer service expert, Jeff Toister, founder and owner of Toister Performance Solutions.  Thanks to Jeff for including me:

Every year I compile a list of tips for getting better customer service during the holiday season. This year, I decided to ask for tips from some of the customer service authors and bloggers I admire most. Their wonderful suggestions form a list that is sure to result in outstanding customer service.

Treat employees with respect (Patrick Maguire)
Patrick Maguire’s terrific blog, I’m Your Server Not Your Servant, highlights customer service experiences from the employees’ point of view. He reminds us that getting better service starts with treating employees with respect.

We need to remember that human workers are not the same as self-checkout stations, and that workers should be treated with the same mutual respect that we would expect if we were doing their jobs. If you treat workers with common courtesy and make a sincere effort to have some fun and make a genuine connection with them, your chances of receiving excellent service will improve dramatically.

Be engaging (Steve Curtin)
Visit Steve Curtin’s customer service blog and you’ll see a picture of him holding a pineapple. Why a pineapple? The pineapple is a universal symbol of hospitality. (Seriously, who could get upset when there is a pineapple involved?) Naturally, he recommends being a more hospitable customer.

When a customer glances at an employee’s name tag and uses her name at the beginning of the interaction along with a smile and eye contact, it has a disarming effect that quickly breaks the ice. The customer may also ask, “How is your day?” or compliment the employee by saying, “You look like the one in charge…” Just as employees tend to reflect the dispositions of their supervisors (for better or worse), they can also reflect the dispositions of the customers they serve.

Be reasonable (Shep Hyken)
Shep Hyken, best-selling author of the Amazement Revolution, also writes a very insightful customer service blog. One of his suggestions is that a reasonable customer will almost always get better service.

Let’s start with a confrontational situation to illustrate the point. There is an old story that goes something like this:

A passenger approached the airline representative about his lost luggage. Obviously upset, he more than complained. He yelled and made derogatory remarks about the airline. The airline employee’s response was simple. “Sir, I can see you’re upset. Right now there are only two people who care about your lost luggage and you are starting to make one of them upset.”

The moral of the story is that as a customer, you can’t get what you want by being unreasonable. If there is a problem, a level headed approach with reasonable suggestions will always win over confrontational arguments.

Place your irritability on hold before complaining (Guy Winch)
Sometimes, we have customer service complaints that need to be resolved. Who better to give advice on complaint resolution than Guy Winch, a psychotherapist who literally wrote the book on how to complain the right way (check out The Squeaky Wheel)? Here are complaint tips from an article he wrote for Psychology Today on how to resolve Christmas shopping complaints.

Complaint in person: “We should arm ourselves with receipts, patience, civility, and authentic smiles.”

Complaint via toll-free hotline: “We should place our irritability on hold (even if we are placed there too), remain calm and present the facts simply.”

Complaint via Twitter: “If you do tweet a complaint about a company, be fair, especially if you have oodles of followers. Remember, frustration fades but tweets are forever.

Don’t take yourself too seriously (Write the Company)
Write the Company’s blog features witty customer service correspondence with real companies. Read between the lines and you’ll realize that his tip is a great reminder to not take ourselves too seriously.

Getting better customer service during the holidays requires a secret weapon. This should not be confused with producing a concealed weapon, which has also proven to be very effective in getting the full attention of service personnel. One secret weapon to consider is sympathy. Not for the service representative, for yourself. You’ll be amazed by how much faster and more compassionately you’ll be treated by simply taping a slightly soiled white gauze pad over an eye or applying fake blood under your nose with even more on a tissue. Holidays are a crazy time to be a customer, so go crazy!

Enjoy the holidays and good luck getting outstanding customer service this holiday season!

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Legendary Regulars

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Customer Hall of Fame

Posted: 11/28/2011

Today’s post comes courtesy of Darren Tully, a loyal reader and commentor on this blog. Darren works at a take-away food counter in Dublin, Ireland. He sent me the following email over the weekend that I am sharing with his permission. This is priceless.

I love customers who you can have a laugh with. One of my regulars, I’ll call her “Mel”, is like that. Mel is 80 years old, and despite needing a zimmer frame, she insists on waiting like everyone else to place her order. She is unbelievably funny and always has a kind word to say, even if she has a complaint to make. I admit that I’m very fond of her. She always asks to speak to me whenever she’s in, and I consider her to be like one of my great aunties.

I was on closing shift tonight so there were only two of us, myself on counter and my friend on tables and dish room. Out of nowhere we got a mini rush in the last 15 minutes. As lines go, it was no big deal. There was no huge wait for the customers, but I had one incredibly impatient woman in the line, a nominee for your Customer Hall of Shame.

When I finally got to serve her I greeted her with a big smile, but before I could say anything she snarled, “Tea to go, NOW!” And that was it–she didn’t speak to me again, she only glared for the rest of transaction. I don’t really understand why she acted that way, I was serving everyone ahead of her in a speedy and friendly manner, but I guess there is no pleasing some people.

Mel was in the line behind her and watched the whole thing. As the woman was walking away, Mel shuffled up and said, “Not enough dick, that’s what her problem is.”, loud enough for everyone, including the woman, to overhear. It was so funny. The other customers were either giggling or standing slack-jawed, and the woman was shaking with indignant rage as she left.

I thought I was going to explode from holding the laughter in, I honestly don’t know how I wasn’t rolling around on the floor behind the counter. 

I absolutley love customers like “Mel”. Here’s to Darren Tulley and all of the Mel’s of the world who speak up and say what every worker would love to, but can’t. Mel is a shoo-in for my Customer Hall of Fame.

Please share your stories about customers who have come to your defense and called out other asshole customers. Thank you.

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