Server Not Servant

Internal Memo to Restaurant Staff in Response to Negative Yelp Reviews; “You are the LOSERS!!!”

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Rules of Engagement

Posted: 12/8/2010

According to Donna Goodison in today’s Boston Herald, Kevin Fitzgerald, the owner of Jacob Wirth, a Boston institution, posted a memo to his servers that included the following comment and ultimatum:

“You are the LOSERS!!!” … “Change or be changed. Please, don’t force your termination for the holidays.”

The Herald piece goes on to say; The memo, posted Saturday in a private work area, included eight pages of mostly negative customer comments about Jacob Wirth from Yelp, an online review site. It was e-mailed to the Herald by Southie resident, Megan O’Connor, a Jacob Wirth server who quit in response to what she called the “unprofessional and appalling” memo.

A few observations after reading the article and the ‘entertaining’ comments on the Herald’s site:

• Posting a memo stating, “You are the LOSERS!!!!” is wrong on so many levels. If the service was poor, that’s not how you fix the problem. The memo is also not going to help recruiting new employees. (Kevin Fitzgerald-If the comment was taken out of proper context, I invite you to post the full memo and/or your comments below.)
• Stating that, “…it is very important that every customer have a satisfactory experience.” is not setting the bar very high. (Kevin Fitzgerald’s quote in the Herald.)
• Fostering a culture with great service and hospitality takes lots of training, role-playing, hard work, and great leadership by example.

It would be interesting to hear from Kevin Fitzgerald, his daughter, Megan O’Connor, Jacob Wirth employees, and customers who have been to the restaurant within the last 6 months to get the full story. Please pass this link along to invite comments from all interested parties. Thank you.

As always, please keep your comments respectful, on-topic and civil or they will be edited.

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Foreign Policy

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Human-to-Human Service

Posted: 12/1/2010

I love getting thoughtful emails from readers with questions, feedback, suggestions and stories. I received the following email a few days ago, and it raises an interesting question.

I read your blog all the time. It is a refreshing take on what we all talk about on a daily basis and truth be told, we all just want to be heard!

I was working last night (teaming with another server) and we had a table of 7 ladies, not originally from America, although they spoke pretty good English.  Their bill was $590.11 and when they paid (cash) they left $600. Yup, $9.89, a 2% tip.  Luckily, I work at a very popular restaurant in Boston and honestly although these kinds of tips truly hurt, we make great money, so what can you do? I am extremely grateful for the business we receive from all of our guests, and my level of service will never waiver based on any preconceived notions or stereotypes. It’s not in my DNA to provide less than professional service to everyone.

My question to you and your readers is this – How viable is the “Foreign customers don’t tip” mantra in 2010?  My reality is that most of the lower-tipping or non-tipping guests are from outside of America. Most people have instant access to all types of information, and that includes the customs of the countries we visit. If I went to London, I would already know how popular soccer is and would not ask to change the TV channel to baseball.  I would also know the custom for tipping at a restaurant in London to respect local protocol.

Whether it is a frame of mind from their country of origin or a lack of understanding, I (and many of the people in the restaurant biz) believe that the days of “They don’t know to tip 15% or more” should be over.  There’s too much information readily available online to use ignorance as an excuse for poor or no gratuity for great service (poor gratuity for poor service is another story).  Most people with a cell phone have the ability to research any subject, especially if they are traveling – Wouldn’t you want to know as much as possible about the area you are going to visit?

I am interested to hear what other restaurant professionals and your readers have to say about guests from other countries and how they tip.

Part of being a responsible guest in another country includes understanding the customs and cultural norms, and it’s also part of both the challenge and excitement of traveling internationally. So yes, international visitors should know the tipping protocol in American restaurants. Similarly, when Americans travel abroad, it’s incumbent on us to extend the same courtesies and respect for local customs and culture.

For the record, most Massachusetts restaurant servers make $2.63/hour. Hourly wages vary by restaurant and state. And yes, some do charge an automatic gratuity for large parties.

So what do you think?

What are your experiences when serving or dining with out-of-country guests or when visiting other countries?

Are the, “We didn’t know. We’re not from here.” excuses still viable when visiting other countries?

Please keep your comments respectful, inclusive and civil or they will be edited. Thank you.

(Please share this link on facebook, twitter and forward to your media contacts.)

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Thanksgiving 2010

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Observe / Analyze

Posted: 11/24/2010

I was walking along the Charles River in Boston last week on a remarkably unremarkable, chilly afternoon. The trees were mostly bare, the sky was eerily gray, the grass was brown, and the few joggers who passed by were bundled up to fight off the wind. The day reminded me of a Boston Globe column by Sam Allis, The hard season, published back in November 2001.

I have a drawer full of articles and stories too good for the recycle bin that I read a couple of times a year to remind me of their message and/or because I love the way they are written. I’ve quoted a passage from The hard season several times over the years because it captures the spirit of late fall and Thanksgiving so well for me.

A few things I’m thankful for this year:

• Everyone who is serving our country in the military, and everyone who has previously served.
• All the workers who work on Thanksgiving and every other holiday; police officers, firefighters, EMT’s, restaurant, gas station, transportation and convenience store workers, to name a few. (Please add anyone I missed in the comments section.) I’ll add high school football referees if my teams win on Thanksgiving…
• My family, extended family and friends.
• Everyone who has read and contributed to the mission of Server Not Servant. I am truly grateful.

 Boston Sunday Globe November 11, 2001

 The Observer-Sam Allis

 The hard season

October is our best shot at the big time. It is the Roman candle that propels New England past the likes of Aspen and Santa Fe into the limelight each fall. Everybody and his grandmother may go west for snow but they come here for the technicolor of our sugar maple.

October is also an L.L. Bean of a month for rural wannabe’s. Its smoky afternoons are benign and its nights crisp. It’s easy to be a Yankee under these conditions. You smear dirt on your new hunting jacket and wash the dorkiness out of the plaid flannel. You work up some blisters and scrapes for good measure and make sure to get some mud on the SUV.

Friends come from the city to sit around the kitchen table and declare their intention to quit the urban madness once and for all. You can count on the following pronouncement at some point in the conversation: “No one ever said on their death bed they wished they’d spent more time at the office.” There is a pinot noir on the oil cloth, a cassoulet on the stove, and a black Lab prone by the fire. So what’s not to like here?

The hard season. It’s the one that lives between the leaves and the snow from young November to Advent. It sends city folk scurrying back to the Central Artery and country folk to the woodpile with a chainsaw. Say goodbye to the warm and fuzzy pretender and hello to the real thing.

It is in this stretch, not October, that you find the soul of New England. It is in this stretch, not October, that you locate the sweet spot of a true Yankee. The hard season, quite simply, is the most profound time of our calendar.

There is nothing funny about it. The days carry the scent of impending hardship and the isolation of a northern winter. The poet Rainer Maria Rilke put it this way:

Whoever has no house now, will never have one.

Whoever is alone will stay alone, will sit, read, write long letters through the evening,

And wander on the boulevards, up and down,

Restlessly, while the dry leaves are blowing.

Rilke can get a tad dark, but he is on to something real that exists after the trees are bare: You’d best get your act together before it’s too late. Take care of your own business because no one else will. That is the Yankee imperative. It may not apply in Tucson, but it sure does here.

For starters, November brings darkness. Daylight savings dies with its optimism at the end of October, yet we are still shocked each year by headlights in 5 o’clock traffic. If you’re vulnerable to depression, brace yourself. Some afflicted with the malady escape south or west for the winter Others buy those newfangled lights that claim to ape the properties of sunlight. I confess that while I grew up here I find Yankee darkness less amusing with every passing year.

November is complicated because it invites big thoughts along with small chores of survival. You ponder the passage of time and take life’s inventory as you get out of the woolens. You rake leaves, the dumbest activity ever invented. Then it’s on to do battle with the dreaded tree people who may deliver half cords of green wood at exorbitant prices if you’re not careful. Next are your chimney people who tell you to line your fireplaces at $2,000 a pop or risk catastrophic fires. You have no idea if they’re charlatans. You’re out of your league.

And what about kindling? Just try finding any of that stuff in Boston for less than the price of caviar. Do you cave and buy the low-rent brick fire-starters? Do you burn the entire Sunday Globe to get a fire going? Or do you say the hell with the whole thing and opt for space heaters?

The list goes on. Windows need weather stripping. Gutters need cleaning. What about a shoveler? Is last year’s guy still around? Are those jumper cables in your trunk? You dismiss this check list at your peril.

But November, the essence of this hard season, is the improbable belle of the New England year. Like a loud plaid, October looks almost tacky next to its muted palette of browns and grays. It owns a color that lives all by itself somewhere between gold and platinum in fields and meadows. It seduces with subtlety.

The hard season, to be sure, is an acquired taste. The land is empty, the trees naked and spooky. The wind is now an unfriendly thing. But it is a celebration of lichened stone walls and the contours of our hills, revealed once again, before they disappear under snow and black ice.

Better still. November is crowned by the great American holiday, Thanksgiving. We invented it here. It is a perennial winner because it carries none of the emotional baggage of Christmas and the religious spin is light. As Garrison Keillor wrote, it’s a peasant holiday where all you have to do is sit down and eat.

The feast is a requiem for the soft days and a tocsin for the harsh ones to come. The joy of autumn dissipates fast in the dwindling light. That’s why we should scour the countryside like beagles and partake of this hard season that imbues our lives with meaning.

Posted with permission from Sam Allis (email: allis@globe.com).

Happy Thanksgiving

Sincerely-Patrick

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“Do You Know Who I Am?”

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Personal Pet Peeves

Posted: 11/22/2010

Most veteran customer service industry workers have encountered some form of the obnoxious question, Do you know who I am? from customers seeking preferential treatment. I have, and I included the following suggestion on my list of 64 Suggestions for Restaurant Customers:

#13- Never attempt the old; Do you know who I am? Anyone who is ignorant enough to try any variation on that question should have a trap door open under them and they should never be seen or heard from again.

Today’s post is reprinted with permission from Adam Gaffin, founder of Boston’s Universal Hub:

Ritziest arrests of the week as police bust up hotel party despite dire warnings about the consequences 

By adamg – 11/20/10 – 8:34 pm

Boston Police report busting up a grand old time at the Ritz-Carlton early this morning and arresting four young gentlemen on a variety of charges. Officers declined the party-giver’s request to leave, now, and grimly carried on despite one party-goer’s warning they would face the wrath of his connections, police say.

Police say officers responded to the downtown hotel around 3 a.m., on the request of hotel security, who said they were unable to quell the party:

While making their way towards the room, officers observed several individuals in possession of alcoholic beverages exiting the location. Once in front of the room, officers looked inside and observed approximately 25 – 30 people making noise and consuming alcohol inside the room. Upon entering the location, officers asked to speak to the legal tenants. When nobody took responsibility for the party, officers began turning the lights on and off while, at the same time, instructing everyone to leave the location. For a short time, most of the party-goers flat out ignored the officers and the legal instructions that had been given. Finally, one of the party-goers, stating that he was the legal tenant, approached the officers and told them that they were no longer welcome inside his place and that they – they being the officers – needed to leave.

Sultan Alhokair, 22, of Boston, was put under arrest and charged with being the keeper of a disorderly house and resisting arrest. (Name redacted upon request), 22, of New York, was then cuffed and charged with resisting arrest and witness intimidation when he tried to block Alhokair’s arrest, police say, adding (“Redacted”) warned:

You have no idea who you are messing with. You are going to be in big trouble. I have friends who will take care of you.

Abdul Alathim, 21, was also arrested on a charge of resisting arrest.

The night did not end with those arrests, police say:

As officers were transporting the suspects to Area A-1 (Downtown) for booking, officers observed and noted that a car, filled with people from the party, was following closely behind the prisoner transport wagon. Upon arriving at the station, officers approached the vehicle and asked the operator for his license. When the suspect stated that he didn’t have one, officers took the operator into custody.

Abdullah Saud, 23, of Cambridge, was charged with operating without a license.

Admin note: Stay tuned. According to Adam Gaffin, the arraignment is scheduled for tomorrow, 11/23.

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Blast Magazine Interview

By: Patrick Maguire

Book Chapter: Introduction

Posted: 11/16/2010

One of the most challenging aspects of writing your first book is creating a credible platform to attract prospective literary agents and publishers. Thanks to the support of readers, we have created a platform that is attracting attention from a variety of media outlets. I am grateful to everyone who has contacted me with their insight and suggestions, and to everyone who has shared this project with their personal and media contacts. Please keep the ideas and referrals coming.

I am sharing this interview to further clarify the mission and message of the blog and book project.

Article and interview by Shannon O’Neill, Blast Magazine:

The other day, a customer of a South End restaurant demanded a gift certificate when he forgot his doggie bag of leftovers. This is the type of behavior that drives Patrick Maguire, author of the popular blog “I’m Your Server Not Your Servant,” insane…

He is currently working on a book — you can read it in progress on his blog — about the bullshit endured by service workers thanks to holier-than-thou customers who believe in the sacred “customer is always right” mentality. Maguire could have easily written a memoir about his various experiences, giving us perspective into a well-seasoned worker’s gripes, but instead he chose to create something to unite all service workers in expressing what they have gone through, with the goal of making us all aware that they are our servers, not our servants.

BLAST: You’ve had lots of service jobs. Which one was the most difficult?

PATRICK MAGUIRE: I loved bartending, but it was definitely one of the most difficult jobs I’ve had. Dealing with douchebags was a common occurrence, especially after they’ve had a few beverages. Customers have almost as much to do with the success of the customer-server human interaction as the server does, but unfortunately, a lot of people are clueless when it comes to common courtesy and mutual respect. I put a list together of 64 Suggestions for Bar Customers. A lot of people need to read it.

BLAST: What service job do you think — perhaps from your own experience or from your research — is the most under-appreciated?

PM: Support positions, such as prep cook, dishwasher, nursing assistant, secretary, paralegal, food runner, busser, and barback, to name a few. They are the unsung heroes, and are subject to some of the harshest behavior that human beings are capable of. A lot of customers treat support personnel in a condescending, elitist fashion because they think that workers are “beneath” them. It’s appalling.

BLAST: Tell us about a horrible experience you’ve had with a customer, one that really sticks out in your mind. How did you handle it? How should horrible situations be handled?

PM: Most of the horrible experiences I’ve had of late are with fellow customers in the supermarket, sandwich shop, at Fenway, restaurants, the doctor’s office, the library, on the T, in fact, everywhere human beings share public space. You pick and choose your battles, but I’ve become more vigilant about pushing back and speaking up. We need to look out for each other and not tolerate abuse when we hear it or see it. I have a chapter in my book called, Confront Without Being Confrontational that will offer suggestions on pushing back and raising awareness.

BLAST: In your introduction, you say, “The 5 percent factor is steadily growing, and…civility and common decency are declining.” Why do you think that is?

PM: The 5 percent factor that I referred to was my perception of the number of impossible customers who are also miserable, awful people with their families, co-workers and everyone they encounter.

I was in a diner a few weeks ago and I watched and listened to a waitress offer a woman a coffee refill. The woman clearly heard her but said nothing. The waitress responded with, “Okay, the silent treatment.” When the customer was out of earshot, I said, “What’s up with her?” The waitress replied, “Some people struggle with kindness. At least I don’t have to go home with them.” Touché. I always wonder what it’s like living and working with those bastards.

There are several reasons for the decline of civility and common decency: poor parenting, lack of role models, poor education, narcissism, entitlement, lack of awareness, and ignorance, to name a few. We also live in an instant gratification society where we expect everything now.

BLAST: Do you think that customers feel they have a sense of power over their servers? Is there a disconnect for customers, where they don’t see the server as a person?

PM: Some customers do have a sense of power over their servers. Many of them are making up for their own lack of self-esteem. They have an “I pay you; I own you” mentality, and love to degrade and torture workers and fellow human beings. It’s a very twisted, sick mindset and existence.

A lot of customers forget or don’t care that they are dealing with fellow human beings. Their lack of empathy and awareness is frightening.

BLAST: What do you hope readers get out of your blog and your future book? Why did you feel compelled to write it?

PM: I was driven to write the book because I was sick and tired of witnessing the abuse of service industry workers from a growing population of arrogant, entitled, demeaning customers. It’s very disturbing to witness what a lot of people think is okay. I had to speak up and do something about it. Everyone wants to point the finger at bad customer service, and no one is advocating for workers and shining the spotlight on bad customers. The book will be a voice for service industry workers who can’t say what they would like to for fear of retribution.

In addition to advocating for servers, the heart and soul of the book will be in the chapter, “Human-to-Human Service.” As I immersed myself in writing the book, I soon realized that beyond the customer-server relationship, my mission is really to promote civility, common courtesy and compassion in all walks of life. That explains the book’s subtitle, “A Case for Human-to-Human Service and Civility,” which is about co-existing, communicating with and responding to fellow human beings. I want to engage readers in a dialogue and raise awareness about mutual respect and common courtesy. 

[Thanks to Shannon and everyone at Blast Magazine. Please forward this link. Media inquiries welcome.]

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